Bono Offered The Pope Gig: -Not In A Million Years

Bono: -I got to go. There must be a rock gig somewhere.
Centre stage. -I`ll do it, Al Gore cuts in. I need that position. I need that platform. !!!!! It`s my last shot at global dominance. Global warning didn`t work as I intended. Religion is a much better place to scare people into doing as I say.

-I`ve tried politics. I nearly made it. I tried scary monster movie, got me a Nobel Peace price, nearly made it... I`m sick of not making it. I need a victory.

-I`m getting old. Look, I lost weight like Clinton. I can do this. Give me a shot. Please?

-For the love of God, notice my hair. Who at my age has real awesome hair? No one, except me! Hire me.

Photo World Economic Forum

Most Humans Still Alive Half Way Through Trumps Presidency

-Humanity will survie Trump, says Ali Baba junior, he got less than 2 years left, there's not enough time to kill 7 billion people. ...