Horrendous news source. Terrible at best. World Mess Association (WMA) is an attention-seeking news agency made up of mad journalists. WMA makes profit by continuously firing staff. Making sure the onces left are exhausted, underpaid and working from home. WMA does not cover health insurance or stories involving the shareholders. WMA has won the Bullytzer Prize for covering up mass crime and continues to harm selected countries, companies and people in coordinated cyber attacks.
Word. -It's basically turned into a frat house. We noticed it on our opening day. There was a lot of request for books about cocaine addition, but nobody read them. Two minutes later we would find them on the floor somewhere, says the librarian.
-The toilets where really popular in the beginning. Everybody had to go to there all the time. So we figured out we got to find a way to get these people to read. The answer was much easier than anticipated; beer.
-It's much better to drink and read than drink and drive. How drunk can you get on beer really? So we introduced a two drink minimum. Now, the toilets are used for vomiting and urinating volumes of piss. And the kids are reading again. Who said they don't like litterature?
-We're lending out so much easy listening books and erotic fiction we're putting bookstores to shame. Their only closing down cause they don't know how to run them. You got to know your audience.
-And parents don't have to worry about their teenagers going to some bad gangster party on Friday night, cause they know there's no drinking pressure at the George W. Bush Presidential Library, but we have to give people a choice. Who knows, one day they might become President too. All it takes is the right parents.
U-Turn. -I was looking for directions to my best friends new place and there he was banging her right in front of me on my iPad, says Sharon.
-I drove over immediately. I was too furious to realise it wasn't live. When I smashed my way into the bedroom, braking furniture for thousands of dollars, suddenly I too had some explaining to do since neither of them was there.
-So I let him have it. What are friends for? You can't buy love.
Ladies horse. -It's so big they have to see it. It's like this need they have. I'm not even trying. Yet I'm the most popular man in town.
-It's weird. Every date I'm on they reserve table for 10. Just because I'm hung like a horse it doesn't mean I eat like one. Having that said, I can gain 40 pounds and women don't care. Their not seeing me for my fitness.
-I hear guys get big shoes with silicon. I understand them. Don't underestimate the power of size. But the ladies will be disappointed when they realise it's a garden hose.
Aircastle. -They weren't, they where dreamers, but somehow they managed to build it. They must have been so stoned. Hashish came much later, but one can evoke the same feeling by being high on oneself, especially in Kremlin, says local.
-I think people where happy the leaders was occupied with building rather than people.
-Thats why you see these flagship buildings around the world. Good times.
Old is the new ancient. -I can't figure out what the problem was, but it seems like they tried very hard to fix it. What surprised me the most was how well developed they where. They had their own language, surprisingly close to ours, they had cars, planes, electricity...
-It amazes me that the civilisations before us could get that far before they collapsed.