Thor Ragnarok Looks Like He Is Going On An LSD Trip

The latest Thor movie  really stands out from all the other Marvel superhero movies. -Thor has evolved as a person and is fed up with violence. He has surrendered himself to peace and love. He's a hippie, says head of development at Marvel Studios.

-The superhero characters where not developing. They have done the same for decades. Centuries! We can't expect to keep the audience if we throw them the same shit every time. Thats why I thought, lets do some acid this time. See what happens...

-It's as much an experiment for me as the audience. I have no idea how this turns out. I haven't seen the film yet. I just arranged "prescription drugs" to the cast and crew: Lets see what they do with the Ragnarok script now? He he.

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Trump Employee Support the President: Now He Works For Me

-Every time I saw him in the lobby it was always "Good Day Mr Trump", now, when I see him on tv it's "SHUT UP, PIG!!!", I can go on and on... I've developed quite a vocabulary to express my feeling about Mr Trump since he became President. It helped med tremendously to learn English, says Entrhykuht from Asabastan.

-Now I can tell people to F*@& off, that their full of shit, that their all liars and that it's never my fault, its always somebody else's fault. What a great country. If I behaved like that at home where I come home I would get in serious trouble.

-Every foreigner will know what I'm talking about. It's hard to curse in another language. When I get angry I can't think straight and I mix up the words. So often I return to my mother tongue to curse, but now, with this idiot in charge, I've become better at cursing in English than my mother tongue!

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The Oscars To Evaluate Actresses Performances

The Academy of Motion Picture and Sexual Harassment announce it will evaluate it's nominees based on skills only. -Looks no longer count. Faced with prison we don't give a damn about ratings or our own personal preferences, says the Academy.

-Last time it was the blacks. Now it's the women. What's next? asks sexual harasser Jason Ugly.
Probably someone with a smartphone.

Rumours have circulated that members of the Academy has joined white police officers on shooting raids to get their revenge after the black life matter protests.

Producer Harvey Darvey, who just lost his job and where told to leave town and never come back, not even in a bodybag, don't see that happening this time, but points out:

-If everything matter, nothing matter. If we're all equal, who will bother to see a movie if it's no better than what you see in the mirror at home? We need to push the audience down to create an urge to see them and we will find a way.

In his defence, he has no defence.


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The Weinstein Company Is Looking For A New Pig

The board of directors is looking for Harvey's replacement and issued the following statement: -All men are pigs, so this time we decided to go with the real deal. If he behaves like one, we'll eat him.

We can't do that with Harvey...

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Madsen Really Destroyed Submarine-Dating

-It's a sad case for all eccentric maniacs, says Steve Slick, the founder of Adventure Daddy who just bought 6 submarines. How on earth can make money now? It's the worst investment in the history of sugar dadding.

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Most Humans Still Alive Half Way Through Trumps Presidency

-Humanity will survie Trump, says Ali Baba junior, he got less than 2 years left, there's not enough time to kill 7 billion people. ...