Europe Issue International Arrest Order On Dicktator Vladimir Putin For Crimes Agaist Continental Peace

-The motherfucker got to pay, it's time to turn the table. We have had enough, throw the fucker behind bars, says Arrest Deputy Jayk Brutal who works for Narcotics, Art and Narsisism related crimes at Interpool.

-These idiots thinks the world is their playground?!

-His dickhead behavior create victims worldwide, people who otherwise would have good lifes, are driven away from their homes and thrown into poverty as a result from his disasterous leadership. The guy is a fool.

-Millions live in fear. It's about time his ruthless dicktator run reach an end. He is long overdo. The world has had enough. And that should serve as a warning to those other pricks around the world who could use a spanking.

-A cell at Guantamo Bay has been cleared and the guards who treated the prisoners like dogs and took selfies with them, has been called back to guard him.

NATO Will Turn Russia Into A Sausage Factory

There's no doubt Nato has evil plans for Russia. -Their planing to make nuke sausages out of us, says Putin's talks person Vladimir 23

-Nato is a scam to deliver human meat to the European market disguized ad sausages. We can't allow this to happen. The sausage factory stops in Ukraine. 

-Look, we don't want to see Ukrainians end up as sausages anymore than the next sausage, and we believe Europeans, deep down there, in the gut of their assholes, doesn't want that either, but your brainwashed with that Western propaganda. 

-So, we're here to invade you, sorry, liberate you!

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Finland Doesn't Buy Putins Horseshit

-We don't buy his dogshit either, cause it's shit. To be fair, he doesn't buy our shit either, but atleast we're not trying to sell it?! says the Finnish Surpriseminister. 

-Russia is like a kinderegg, you never know what the fuck your gonna get. So living next door, we got to watch our step, otherwise we'll walk in shit. 

Finns admit Putin deserves a leg up for trying. -That way, he can take a dump at the same time, extra bonus for whoever's buying. It can't be easy selling shit, but if it's all you got.. a man got to do what a man got to do. 

Finland, who beat Russia last time they went to war, took another path in the world than that of a travelig shit salesman.

-We make products that people need, that makes them happy and improves their quality of life, which is so fucking far from what Russia's doing, unless they made propaganda toilets to go along with scaring people shitfaced.

What's Goes On Inside Putins Lego Head?

Ukraine figured it out. -It's made of plastic! You could argue he's playing with his Lego mini-figures, but in reality there is nothing going on in there. 

It's the Ukrainian Spymaster Lyaksandro Melnyk who through substancial observation,  massive surveilance, and "just watching the dickhead on tv", brings proof to their working theory. 

-Many people thought he's got covid and lost it, like suffering from long covid related complications, or that he suffers from long dictators syndrome, but it's nothing that substancial, can't be, he' all plastic. 

-So it got to be whoever is playing him. And we all know who that is, the bloody Oligarks.

Russias Dictator Claim God Ok With Killing Ukraines

The Russian dictator talked to God in a meeting i Kremlin in Moscow last night. -He was very pale, but consider his age he was in good spirit.

-I teached him a few karate moves so he can protect himself if the war comes out of hand. You know missiles these days, I don't want murdering God on my cv, but Im okay with Ukraines, the sub-Russians. Daddy got to bring back his orphants.

The Pope strongly deny any such talks ever finding place. -God doesn't sit around in cafe's chatting with mad dictators. Certainly not in Moscow, Rome maybe, but not Moscow, for føks sake. 

-How crazy are we going to let this be? I got to have a chat with God myself and put an end to this madness. 

The Russian Empire Hacks Back

In what seems to be an act of teenage frustration, the not so mighty bear of the East, lashes out on its former slave nation, for not acting as it wants.

One might wonder, what Russia, with it's 0.02% of the worlds population got to gain from behaving like a hack. Not much, judging from history.

If there is one lesson to be learned from the Sovjet Union, it's don't do it again.

Don't be such a bitch. You lost. Empires is a thing of the past. Buy Lego instead and deal with your ego there. You have to grow up. 

If there's any reconciliation, the winner wasn't all sunshine either, but still capable of being far worse than you. 

Which is why you should shut the fuck up and stop deluding yourself with greatness before the international community once more take you down, this time maybe for good.

Whatever the cost.

Ukraine Sends 100.000 Women to the Russian Border to Calm Aggression

Not so sexy now, Putin

The women know how to handle angry men on a large scale, and it's working, the 100.000 soldiers on the Russian side are reported to be short of breath.

-Mass brainwashing is something we are used to, all they need is a new wash with dictator detergent, says Larisa who has a lifetime of experience dealing with this shit thanks to the Sovjet Union. 

-We are all humans, once we pop their bubble, nobody will fire a bullet. 

Illustration Google Maps