Cut For Quality, Not Unlike Western Media

It's bad times for quality journalism. Journalists are laid off world wide, like Jamal Khashoggi who was both sacrificed and killed. They fire people differently in Saudi Arabia, it's the same thing, only different.

Photo Alfaigh

Hurricane Apologises for Not Aiming At The White House

-What's the point? They already have one. Having said that, I like to take this opportunity to let you all know, it's not one of us. We're not political animals, we don't take sides, we just destroy.

-Again, I can not stress this enough, I know it's looks like a typhoon, but it's not, it's a tycoon. We have nothing to do with the climate changes inside the White House, says the hurricane in an old fashioned printed press release spread by the wind.

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Al "Jesus" Franken Is Back!

Trumps worst nightmare, Al Franken, is back after more than 3 days. In a time when everything goes faster, the resurrection was weirdly slow. Even real Jesus would have gone back and fourth to heaven 50 times in that time. So why?

-Truth, fairness and logic thinking works slow on a mass scale, but thats not why I waited so long, I've been very busy, I'm lodestar. I put on a ponytail, a butler dress and sneaked in to the White House and served everybody White Russian while I cleaned Trumps desk for adult information, says Al Franken.

Photo Senate Democrats

Shadow President Runs USA

A group of anti-Trumps has taken control over the White House and is currently running Washington.

The rebelión was revealed today, but has in fact been operative for some time - to avoid total inanition. -We found it necessary to inform the public that there is another President in the room, he's "armed & dangerous", in this situation that is a good thing so please stay calm until the next election.

-We got this under control, says anonymous source.

Photo skeeze

Al Franken To Star In Running for President Exercise Video

To avoid more pigs in the White House the Senate has commissioned Al Franken to make a training video on how to run the White House. The video, which will be available on all steaming services in time for the election, will focus on the dos and don'ts of Presidency.

We're embarrassed there's no formal training ground for taking the highest office in our country. We demand years of education to be a doctor or a lawyer, but not a President. After closely observing the current one we have concluded that there must be some form of formal training to eliminate the obvious assholes. 

So, we looked to the Academy, where the members actually has to watch the best foreign film nominees and compared those to who actually won and concluded, thats good enough!
-The Official Statement from The US Senate.

Photo Paul Walsh

Trump To Lay Wreath At Tomb of Quisling To Honour The Kind Of People Who Brought Him To Power

-To understand who we are it's important to know where we come from, says President Trump in a statement tweeted from the White House. I want you all to know I was a part of this, I knew what was happening, I wasn't some retard Putin played like his Russian Oligarchs. I knew, I played him, tell that to the historians!

Photo White House Photographer Shealah Craighead

Trump: Give Sex A Chance

The President quoted the famous John Lennon lyrics in an attempt to silence the growing criticism of his behaviour. After being informed by a black staffer the words was actually give love a chance, the President replied what the f*** did you just say?! and fired her.

Photo Gage Skidmore

16th Century Climate Campaigner "The Sky Falls Down If We Chop Down Trees"

-People don't think about the environment. They pie in the ocean?! They don't think about the rising sea levels. Culturally speaking, there's no cause and effect built into our behaviour thinking. It only here and now. Thats why I chop down everyone who pie in the ocean... to prevent the world from drowning.

Photo Red_Raccoon

Sexiest #MeToo Off The Year

Al Franken, the politician representing a political party who didn't have the guts to stand up for whats right when the wind blew the other way.

Innocent or not, wether your John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton or the up until now, next in line, these days you have to be a Russian to win the election.

Sorry Al, you where too American. The times are a changin...

Photo Lorie Shaull