North Korea Has Developed Short Meeting Rockets

The summit with the American President was quickly canceled when it leaked that Kim Jong-un was planing to attack Trump with nuclear gas.

-It was a clever plan to take out Trump in Vietnam, we would have thought it was the food, says the Secret Service agent who unveiled the plot.

-They bombed the hallways in the hotel on arrival. Luckily for us they haven't done enough testing and hadn't figured out the launching mechanism.

-The North Koreans where afraid Trump, considering his age, had mastered the silent weapon and was going to use it on Kim Jong-un in Vietnam. They deny all plans to use it, but admit being armed to their teeth and ready to defend themselves.

Trump Says He Talked North Korea Into Giving Up Their Nukes - Just Like That

-I said, North Korea needs food. The nukes contain a lot of energy... eat them. Everybody is happy. Sometimes someone just need to talk sense to these people.

-It was a great moment. Kim got the message, I really enjoyed it. I'm a great negotiator, probably the greatest ever, says Trump before he interrupts himself.

-If they don't, Kimmy-boy has to deal with mine, on a personal level, so there's no need for reasoning, it's all pretty clear cut.

-You know, like black or white, in nuclear terms, not racist, but more clear, like kill, kill, kill, instead of KKK. The Ku Klux Klan didn't kill everyone, but I will.

England Is Turning Itself Into EUs Own North Korea

Despite being an Island surrounded by oceans on all sides, England is burning the few remaining bridges to the European mainland. Do they really hate Europe that much? Whats next? Forbid the world to speak English?

England has nuclear weapons, and, can be, if this madness continues, a serious threat to the civilised world. How likely is it, that England, the once mighty Empire, turns into world enemy number one?

In a world run by dictators, it's very likely. It wasn't the Nazis who declared WW2, it was the British. It's the biggest enough is enough ever set in motion and they weren't even at the height of their game.

So, what's stopping them? Nothing.

Image by PIRO4D

Trump Not Representative Of People Living In White Houses

-I will paint my house green if people begin to think it's a connection. The guy is a maniac. I would leave earth if I could. I sincerely envy astronauts who can go to the International Space Station while this is going on, says Mateo.

-First Bush, then Trump?! Well.., I have learned one thing from them. I can only trust black Americans.

Photo Free-Photos

Mexico Willing To Pay For Wall Around The White House

"Consider it a compromise. We will not pay for the border wall, but we will pay for a wall around Trump, he obviously needs one." says Mexico is an official flyer delivered to every American household.

The flyer, nicknamed The Declaration of Sanity, continues: "Lets work together on this, it's a win win situation. Actually, it's a win win win situation".

"Trump and his republican party corporates with Russia, so drop the Mueller investigation and let Mexico, in the spirit of even-steven, cooperate with the democratic party and we'll see who's last man standing".

Photo Michal Jarmoluk

The Residents at the Hospital for the Criminally Insane Get Trump

-We understand where he's coming from. He is like us, a natural born leader. The world has always been run by the worst of us. We are just waiting for him to get us out of here, says "Walter" who speaks for the whole world.

Timmy says "Trumps behaviour speaks to me in ways words can't". Despite having issues with walls, he agrees with the President on the Mexico situation. "We need to build the wall to keep the good guys out!".

-Otherwise they'll lock us up!

Photo Peter H

African Union Proud To Be Bugged By China

The African Union says in a statement that this shows the world its Africa that matters. "The Chinese are not interested in Brexit, in the European Union, in Trump or America, it's us they focus on.

We have waited for this moment a long time. By 2050 there will be 2 billion Africans on this continent. It's an illusion that China will take over the world after USA.

It will be us who sets the world agenda and we understand their frustration, cause we surveil them too, but we don't get caught..."

Flag African Union

Polar Bear Broke Into Home, Ate The Food And Used The Toilet

The residents in Novaya Zemlya in Russia are horrified by the invasion of 50 polar bears in their neighbourhood, but also impressed by their behaviour.

-The bear flushed! I'm not used to that... my husband never does. If this keeps up I might get myself a polar bear, says Tatiana Ivakina.

Photo robynm

Nuclear War Looks Great In Space!

-If we decide to go out with a bang, at least it will be a head turner around the Universe, kinda like a blond in space, it will raise some eyebrows, says retired Nasa astronaut Billy "the Kid".

-With the current atom bomb/dictator situation it can happen any day now. This is our exit point. This is where humans blow up the planet.

-We had a good run. We where this close to escape before the big local bang. Dam-it, a few more hundred years and we could have all left earth before our dictators blew it up.

-Why is technology both the solution and the problem? Because when the solution is the problem, the problem is not the solution. We are doomed to do this, it's our destiny.

-Think about it, why else equip monkeys with smartbrains?

 -If you put a monkey infront of a keyboard, soner or later he will write a sentence. Same goes for us. Put us on the planet, soner or later we will blow it up.

Photo skeeze

Putin Got Nothing To Fear Cause Nobody Wants Russia

-Nobody in their right mind will invade a bunch of crap. Hitler was a maniac, laughs former Sovjet Union citizen, now NATO spindoctor Mindaugas Garbys.

-The Russian army is completely unnecessary. Nobody wants to invade a bunch of corrupt oligarchs who holds millions of poor people hostage. Who wants to deal with that?!

-No, we help them to escape, by offering them Nato membership. Thats how we beat them.

Photo Nato