LGBTQ Astronaut On Moon

Thats Right! Just when space was getting boring NASA found a way to spice it up, thanks to SpaceSex, the private space sector. -Space is all about getting as far away from ourselfs as possible without loosing ourselfs, so bring your privates!, says SpaceSex boss Cool Electrics.

SpaceSex hope that this mission will take them one step further on the way to find an exit plan from planet earth. -We need somewhere to go, maybe even before the next pandemic. Who knows, it might attack earth itself.

-We still haven't figured out how we're going to transport billions people out there. Chances are we never will. Realisticly it's more about getting a few out there to start all over again. We're sending austronauts to every %$&@ planet we can and hopefully on will settle before warth blows up.


Photo 272447

Hongkonger Shat Himself When Reading The Chinese Security Laws

Drowning. Luckily he was sitting on the toilet when he got sick to his stomac from reading the latest news on his cell phone, who by the way, also found its way down the toilet as quickly as possibly.

-It's made in China, God knows how many tracking devices they got in it. I'm practically dead. You know, being in the riots and all.

All things considered, he makes sure China get a peace of him before he leaves town when he flushes down. Knowing the flush content will "head" towards the "homeland" after a good 50 stories fall down the sewer pipes from his apartment.

-With the current tide, the shit will be in China before dawn. By then I've farted myself halfway to space. Depending on how much gas I got left, I'll try to land somewhere in Canada.


Photo Peggy and Marco Lachmann-Anke

Trump Thinks WHO Sucks Donkey

Money Run. -We're not giving money to a Chinese puppet. If people want to give their hard earned cash themselves, thats fine by me, but I'm not doing it on their behalf, says president Trump.

-Having said that, I'd seriously prefer they give the money to me. I got an expensive campaign coming up. I got to beat a senil demented old man in the election so I need all the help I can get.

-It's gonna cost us more to beat this old fart than I've spent on the China disease. It's like an election disease. Just like you do everyhing to stay away from the Chinese disease, you do everything you can to stay away from Biden.

-I assure you, he would have killed, excuse me, more Americans would have died if he was the president. Trust me, I know, from experience. Biden would be a disaster. The best way to avoid one, the one we're currently in, is to keep me in power. I know how to handle this, right?!


Photo svklimkin

Minneapolis Riots: Local Cat Gets Ready To Hunt Humans

-We're still baffelled by his appetite for humans. What made him fixated on eating us is beyond our understanding, says his owners who hasn't put him down yet.

-Maybe he experimenting, got the taste of it and can't turn back, but if he did, I think I would hear about it. Wouldn't we hear it if he ate a human? Or at least tried to?

-We know that he's had it with mice cause he's not hunting them anymore. Maybe he wanted a bigger challenge? Maybe he's just trying another diet and eating once a year?

-Anyway, we got to do something about it. There's blood all around the basement and all our relatives are missing. We can't explain the pile of corpses around the neighbourhood with the corona pandemic forever?!


Photo Jantichy

You Have Nothing To Fear But China Itself

The Chinese attack on Hong Kong sovereignty makes Franklin D Roosevelt's famous quote from his speech when China invaded Poland more relevant than ever.

Many a president has proven this point, like Ronald Reagon when he spoke outside the Chinese Wall and said "Mao, I got a message for you, tear down this wall!" or John F Kennedy who went to the Chinese wet market in Berlin and said "Ich bin ein teacup!".

Let this be a message to all those ChineseHitler's out there: your time is up!


Photo Public Domain 

Hong Kong Declare War On Chinese Behavior

-We will fight them with decency, knowledge and true history for a change. The Chinese has no sense of world history. They think they own all of it, says Hong Kong spokeswoman Chi Truth.


Photo Free-Photos