Binge-Watch For A Good Cause

Breaking good. -People run marathons for charity. They put on fund raising shows and all sorts of shit. I though to myself, it got to be an easier way to do this...

Photo Al Lbrahim

Halloween Came Early to the Canadian Parliament

What do you expect? The shooter failed at scaring 35 million Canadians to join the Islamic State. Ottawa Police issued the following statement after the incident:

-The terrorist is dead and the world continues without him.

Photo Tsai project

Key Members of IOC Taken Out By Special Forces

Cash against humanity. The UN approved coalition against corruption lead by South Africa is proud to announce 5 European countries has joined the alliance.

-Without the support of these 5 western countries it would be difficult for us to legitimise the military action taken against the IOC headquarter in Switzerland.

-The President of the Olympic Committee was buried underneath the Fisht Olympic Stadium in Sochi within 24 hours of death. He was hiding in the town Lausanne. Corrupt leaders should know this, there is no safe house for white collar crime. We will hunt you down wherever you are.

Photo Marion Doss

The Writer behind Women in Space & Women in Combat is Out with the New Book: Women in Fast Food Restaurants

♀ & A. -As I was writing these books about amazing women I noticed there where a lot of them who'd rather sit at home watch television than go to space. In fact 99.999% choose earth in any given situation.

-So it hit me, why would these women strive for second best when their already #1? If giving birth isn't the biggest miracle on earth what is? I sat down and talked to these women who doesn't want to a soldier, CEO or an astronaut and surprisingly to me, they where quite happy with the men doing all the work.

-I asked myself why am I writing these books about amazing women when the majority isn't up for it? Money! And now I got a new subject!

Photo Trevor Cummings

Kim Jong-Un Found In All You Can Eat Restaurant

Deal with it. -They have a eat till you drop offer and Kim is still standing. 37 days, man. He's going for the world record times ten! says North Korean insider.

Photo IBT

Michael Jackson Fans, Get Ready For Thriller Ebola Edition

Bad. Too bad Michael wasn't around for the breakout, he would have loved it - in his own special way. Some people make art of the darkest nightmare.

Thriller on iTunes/Amazon

When Asked What Fragrance He Use, Elon Musk Says Electricity

Loaded. -Nothing attracts women like the scent of an electric sports car. And being the guy behind PayPal doesn't hurt either. But enough about that, I'm tired of doing it on earth. I want to spread my musk in space.

-I cant call my company SpaceX for SpaceSex, even though thats the intention behind the mars mission. It's a long ride. Gotta do something, right?!

Photo Brian Solis

17 and Queen of the World

Elizabeth III. Teenage ignorance can pay off. When taking on an enemy like the Taliban its an advantage to be completely oblivious to the threat at hand. No matter how great the cause, being young and stupid is greater when facing all time bandits like the women hating Taliban.

The award inspire girls all over the world to fight for their right. -If I knew I could get shot in the face, get a facial and the Nobel Prize, I would have done it first, says one of her school friends.

-I'm telling you, there's going to be lots of girls in the running next year. I'm sure getting one before she gets another. There won't be space left for the boys.

Photo Claude TRUONG-NGOC

Teenager Won The Nobel Peace Prize, What's Next, Children?

Lucky Lucy. -We're considering dogs. Dogs are mans best friend. No other creature on earth has done more to calm down mankind over the years than our four legged friend, besides prostitutes, says the Nobel committee.

-At some point we're thinking of just giving it away. Totally random, like a lottery. Throw it in a park. Whoever find it, win.

Photo The Norwegian Primeminister's Office

Ebola: -"Here I Come!"

"I'm the king of the world". Ebola is certainly making a name for itself these days by taking names and spreading across continents like a terrorists wet dream.

There's no cure for nature. This time it's coming for us all.

Photo European Commission DG ECHO

Most Humans Still Alive Half Way Through Trumps Presidency

-Humanity will survie Trump, says Ali Baba junior, he got less than 2 years left, there's not enough time to kill 7 billion people. ...