It's a Tie-In

Buy 2, get 1 for the monthly pay of a sweat shop worker


Trade is up and stores want their share, in fact, some more than others. 

-We have tried other campaigns like, buy 40 for the price of 39, and spend more than $100 and use the toilet for free, but customers wanted to bargain on the deal, like "give me two free toilet visits", "hell no, I'm not having you come back to my store to make a dump!", says the store manager at Barry's Ties.  

-So what we did was hire a bouncer to check if the customers really needed to use the toilet, turns out most of them didn't when faced with a 400 pound gorilla. 

-We finally got our sales boom when I gave up and tried to convince them to not wear them. "Keep it in your pocket, blow your nose with it", "show your boss you can affort to use it as a paper tissue". 

-It's all about understanding the younger generation, they don't take people up the system like me serious. To make the shop floor common ground, I don't take them serious either.


Forgot to Frame Empire State Building When Doing Massive Stunt



-What am I gonna do?! I can't share this?! Nobody will believe I did it, says Sporty Joe.

-Not even my friends who where there. We hardly talk to each other in real life anymore, even though we stand right next to each other. I bet they didn`t notice. They where all probably too bussy on their phones doing their own poses. 

In a rare moment of self-insight, Sporty Joe looks at his camera and press record: -Maybe I wasn't the only jumper?


Photo Thomas R. Koll

Democracies Are Vaccinated Every 2nd Year, It's Called Election

Your vote is the vaccine!
Democratic countries takes a shoot against corruption every 2nd year. A local and regional one and a national one in 4 year intervalls. 

That prevents diseases to do too much harm before they are beaten out of the system. We could inject a shoot at any time, but as long as the system is robust to handle whatever it may face, and comfortable to live with it untill the next vaccine, there is no hurry.

It's a safety system, if you will, who prevents billions of people to be lead by one person with an equally huge ego.

That's why Jingping and Putin first and foremost export their vaccines, they don't want the people at home to get any crazy ideas.


5 Reasons To Buy A Car



1) Keeps poverty at a distance

2) Sleep longer in the morning. A car takes you much faster to work than public transport.

3) Be an a-hole for a change, screw the environment.

4) You get crazy engine power! Either you like it or not, the car goes much faster than the speed limit, EVERYWHERE! 

5) You can be the same idiot you've always been, only faster! Imagine the damage you can cause!

Let's face it, it's a selfish vehichle...

Poverty In The Rear Mirror Appear Closer Than It Is

Thank God for that!

"I'm okay with it as long as I can plow throught it like mud, but I'm not stepping into it, I'd rather be charged with roadkill", says Oliver. 

You would think a man who share his first name with the worlds most famous orphan, Oliver Twist, had a bigger heart: "Nope, I'm not having any of that shit".

"They can go to hell. As a matter of fact, they don't have to, they can starve to death right here, in these very neighbourhoods. Many do. It's much better than getting stuck in a car tyre". 

"I don't carry a spare tyre anymore. It makes no sense, I replaced it with a semi-automatic rifle a long time ago. Besides, I need the space. How many bodies can you fit in a trunk? Never enough, certainly not on these streets. It's like death row".


Photo tokapic

Santa Joins NATO

Putin Fails To Stop Him
Nothing could stop the resident from the North Pole to become a member of the alliance. "I cross a lot of borders, I fly into a lot of no-go zone's, with drones all over the place, people need to know that if they go after me, NATO will retaliate before they get a chance to open their presents."

When asked about his view on Putin trying to block his membership, Santa says this is news to him, but he will take it into account when flying over Kremlin. "That said, Putin has already been a bad boy, so he's not getting any presents anyway", says Santa. 

"Truth is, most Russians want to join NATO too, except Putin, but he's a dictator. There are 145 million brains in Russia, why listen to the one who ignore the others?".  

"He's not going to give you a present?!" 

"Merry Xmas Russia!!!"


Afghanistan: The Monkeys Are Back

Nowhere to learn
Despite none reported escaped animals from Zoos worldwide, a huge number of wild animals suddenly appeared in Kabul out of nowhere as the civilized world returned back to their world class countries.

How the international community will respond to a nation run by monkeys is in the blue, but a suggestion from Zookeepers United to define Afghanistan as not earth, gains support globally. 

Every country has emmbassies, a turf inside their own territory where foreign nations rule, lets strech that thought and introduce planet embassies with aliens. 

That way we are not acountable for their actions and legaly free to nuke them if they in any shape or form become a treat to our way of living... on planet earth.

Western Democracies Envy China For Putting An End To Song Contests

 If only we had the balls..


-I wouldn't stop at song contests. There's too many white people on tv. Too many rich and famous idiots. Too many talents shows, reality shows, too much crap. Hey, turn the whole thing black. Black lifes matter! says Many Williams in California, USA.

-But if those Chinese pricks come here and tell me what to do I'll kick those yellow brick stones back to Asia. No tiny Asian get to tell me what I can and can't do. Watch it, China. I'm keeping an eye on you. You think your're so powerful since your so many, but I'll tell you. I count 10 Chinese per 1 black dude. 

-Me and my girls at the Zumba class can beat up a whole section of Beijing alone. So watch it, China. We're on to ya! It's okay your stopping those song contests, as long as you sing Mandarin shit, if I hear a Chinese girl don't get to sing Beyonce, oh my God, you're in trouble!


Photo microfile. org  

Terrorist Looks Forward to Enjoy the World Cup in Qatar in a Peaceful Manner

Exchanges terror network with hooligans


-Normally I like to cause mayhem, but it's in Qatar, bloody hell. It's my neck of the wood! As in my choosen neighbourhood, not my acctual neighbourhood, cause I live in England. So attacks is out of the question, I'm getting tickets! Finally, football is coming home for me too, say Liam. 

-Just beacuse I like to blow shit up, doesn't mean I can't keep it together for a few hours, as in getting drunk with thousands of other guys while screaming and yelling at the players. It's what I do anyway, I think I can do it without weapons too. I'm going rogue!

It's part of the guns for beer program, a rehabilitation clinic in London who treat returning terrorists and the occational local nutcase. -It's all about changing crazy behavior. Find something more legal. There should be clubs for former terrorists, like there is for the former working classes. Who's common these days?, asks doctor Strangebomb.


Photo Kris

The Russian Mob Win The Bidding For UEFA Euro 2028

The worlds largest crime organisations merge


When you thought it couldn't be more corrupt... it did! 

On the up side, you can buy drugs at the arena. The arenas will be much different. Especially under the grandstand. It will be an inside version of Las Vegas with gambling, live music, strip clubs & brothels for both men and women. There will be no pressure to "go up on deck" and actually see the matches.

Corruption is the way of the world, why fight it, says UEFA in a public statement in respons to the critisism of the decision. You're going to watch anyway, why do you think Qatar got the World Cup? Because we care about football? We care about corruption, isn't that obvious?

It's a game where people watch men run after a ball, how can we loose? We can't. We can arrange it in your grandmas basement and you'll throw her out and to top it off you'll be honoured! concludes UEFA.


Photo Comfreak

The Wuhan Institute of Virology About to Cause More Harm Than WW2

 Cradle of disaster


The Wuhan Lab leak cover up is as badly done as the attempt to cover up the damages done by Adolf Hitler during World War two. -The Allies knew what he was up to, in fact the whole world did. Even Germans knew, it's was just no way to stop it from within, like the situation in China today.

Everybody knows, nobody talks, at least not whitin China, in public that is, caue over he dinner tables in private homes, the communist dicatorstate is rarely mentioned in positive terms. -For every public glorification of the regime it is on average one million f-you's, according to Amnesia International.

To avoid a future grand fuck up by the regime, United Nations prepares to divide China in two like Nazi Germany after World War two. West-China becomes democratic and East-China continue their  communistic bullshit to please Russia. 

-Within 50 years they will go bankrupt and beg West-China for help. It will be the end of communist related world disasters. Let's face it, the biggest threat to humanity is not global warming, it's global communism. You can't fight global warming with global communism, says UN mediaguru.

-You can't fight anything with global communism cause their all so f*@# perfect all the time.

-And lets not forget the f@*# French!


Photo Ureem2805

Astronauts Agree: China Is Not There

 IT'S A LIE!!!


-I don't know why these idiots go around pretend the Tiananmen Square Massacre never happened, when they don't even exist themselves. China is just a fantasy. 

-From space, their just more of the same. Basically it's like a tiny Canada, says the Astonaut on duty 4th of June at the International PlayStation in space. 

-There's really nothing more to talk about...



China Doesn't Exist!

 IT'S A LIE


Albert Einstein made a breathtaking discovery late in his career. In his last notebook, who is made public these days, he saw what the whole world would see a few decades later, that China is a joke. It's quite remarkable really, says proffessor Chong Tiananmen Wee. 

But it doesn't surprise the proffessor that Einstein made the relevation nearly half a century before the rest of the world. -He was a smart man. Smart people see things more clearly and in this case, much earlier than the rest.

He also saw that the price of Cheeze Doodles would go up by 4% the second quarter of the first yoear in the second decade in the new century. -Yeah, he was really accurate in his predictions, but nothing comes close to his Chinese theory of forgery, not even his theory of relativity, by comparison, it's not relevant. 

Photo Jackie Ramirez

Hong Kong Police Now Works For The Chinese Communist Triad Vigilantes - The CCTV

 No Hong Kong's Tiananmen vigil or 

NEW MASACRE!!!!


Well,.. if this guy is in Hong Kong the corrupt authorities in the main land can forget about calling it off. There's no way this dude is giving in. 1.500.000.000 more like him and they can take on any army in the world. Maybe even every army in the world. For starters... just a thought.

Anyway, many protesters say they are going to wear pink shirts this time, to show there is different grades of red. It doesn't have to be full on communist red all the time.

The idea of coming nude in huge numbers are also circulating in Hong Kong. To wank off in front of the CCTV police untill they do what they came for, a bloddy massacre. The news footage would shut down CCTV forever.


Hamas Order 4.000 New Rockets To Stack Up Supply

Baking Boom in Gaza


"Here we go again", the chorus of the hit Bang Bang Forever by the Explosives plays on the radio everywhere in Gaza this summer. Also in Eshaals kitchen, who is making bombs to help her income.


-If I make one bomb a week, I get enough to feed my 4 children, if I make 2 a week, I can take my family on a weekend trip to Israel. If I make 4 a week, we can go to Los Angeles on holliday to once a year.

-Most people dream about a holliday, but few people dream of going to China, or Pakistan or any oher Muslim country, it's mostly the Western world or the Western friendly Muslim world. Basically anywhere money talks. 


Hamas Supporters Outside Gaza Don't Use Rockets

 Wussies!


-They're just for show, they mean no business, if they did, they would send rockets the Hamas way, to show they're support wherever they demonstrated. They're the light version, they don't dare to kill at random and strike terror in millions for their cause, says Professor in Hamasology, Josef Fair at Jerusalem University. 

-It's the kind who want to be out there fighting for something, anything, but don't have the guts to do it for real. It's the showbusiness end of politics. Like show & tell, only show & yell. Basically they're just kid adults.

-The thing that pussles me is that these people don't realize that demonstrating like this doesn't help either. Quite the contrary, it only serves to keep the current situation locked. Who the hell want to reason with people screaming and shouting outside public institutions. Bloddy hell! Vote for Christ's sake!


Godzilla and King Kong Deny Any Involvment in the Israel Palestine Conflict

Appalled by truce


-Well, generaly speaking, there are more to this world than the religions clashing in the Middle East, like us, say King Kong. Why did Hamas attack when we where about to launch our new fight movie! They tried to steel our audience right in front of our noses.

Godzilla says he generally disagree with Kong on everything but feel that they are both on the same page on this matter, but he doesn't want to comment any further cause King is an idiot. -It doesn't look good when I agree with King. I got to think about my reputation. 

-Kong says Goszilla is a pussy and doesn't expect any more from "that whimp" and before our WMA reporter had a chance to escape, they where at it again and ruined the skyscraper where the interview was held.

Photo Jim Cooper

No Longer Endangered Thanks to Big Love Dating App

High Five!

-Zookeepers are lost for words, but I'm not, says dog owner and tech guru/cell phone owner Kapicha Moel in California.Who knew elephants could hook up online? They only needed bigger touch screens. And better warranty.

-I got the idea when I was watching Animal Planet at a friends house. Or, he was more like a friend of a friend who wasn't really a friend, I just needed to score som opioids and couldn't pay and this idea to make a trunk full of cash came as I saw Animal Planet go to commercial and show cell phone ads.

-Then there's a two month gap I can't make an account for, so in theory I could have robbed a bank, cause there's cash all over the place, but I choose to think I scored jackpot with my brilliant idea. I got a friend who runs a conspiracy site and she helped me get the word out there so I don't have to explain myself. 

Photo Oliver D

North Korea in Talks To Solve Israel-Palestine Conflict

Suggest nuclear solution


The administration in North Korea is discussing how to end the conflict between Israel and Palestine who just fired up again in Jerusalem. -Our approach is with an emphasis on ending it, not solving it. Thats a waste of time.

No other countries where present when North Korea presented their roadmap to war, as they call it. -The obvious problem is that nobody is winning. It's a war, for God's sake. Somebody has to win! says the spokesperson who not at all thinks it weird they propose a solution. -Everybody does, even hairdressers!

-We are happy with either side winning, if the international community can't make up their mind, we'll flip a coin, but we woun't announce the winner in case we miss the target. So basically it's a 50/50 chance untill the nukes hit the ground exploding, if they explode. You never know... 

-Look, we're prepared to take a chance and do the international communities' dirty work, if we in return get some slack.


TRUMP DRUNK IN STRIPBAR OUTSIDE WASHINGTON

WTF???!!!

 
In the early hours of Tuesday a local barmaid got tired of Trumps abusive behavior and called the cops. -It happened about the same time he ran out of money, says Jack the bar owner. He got her to strip for him. He got all the women to strip for him. Afrer a few hours a few men too, he was so drunk he couldn't tell.

-The madness started last Thursday, a rather old car pulled up and out stepped this pompus ass, and fu*$ me it was the former President! He was already drunk, he wobbled in and smashed a table and asked for directions, then he fell asleep.

-He asked how to get back in time and the best answer I could give him was beer. When he woke up, he really took it to heart. I didn't think he was listening, snoring and all, but as soon as he woke up, I mean fell down his chair, he took to my advice and went for it. 
  

Photo Andi Koslowski

Scientific Breakthrough: Humans Evolved from THIS Monkey

Sick!!!!! 


Bernie the monkey has no clue of the recent revelation done by Japanese scientists at Tokyo Zoo. -He is the father of civilized humans and here we are captivating him.., ups, delete that last remark please, says the media relations contact who recently was promoted monkey manager.  

-I know it's hard to believe, but if you look at what humanity has done since Bernie was born and compare it with what went one before it's pretty obvious. It's like you can't tell the difference between mokeys an humans before he showed up. 

-I think we should all take Berine to heart and follow his footsteps to a better future. He leads through example: he doesn't throw plastic in the ocean, he doesn't pollute the atmosphere with petrol engines, he doesn't wear a gun, he's the perfect human. 


Get Away Car Driver Never Use Home Delivery

 It's about honor


-I never use the Post Office and certainly not email, sms, phone calls.. you know, anything that leaves a trail. If you want to catch me, you got to find me, says Dick Johnson, or Ridiculous Johnson on the streets. 

The downside is that potential employees can't find him either, so he's kinda stuck in this limbo of looking for work, but not being able to leave contact details. -Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous, but if I'm
going to rob a bank successfully, I can't give my whereabouts away. 

Dick can't remember last time he did a "job" cause he's never acctually done one. -It's a tough business to get into, not to say work your way up in. Financially I got to rob a bank to be able to stay in the game. 

The thought of going solo has crossed his mind over the years, that and taking the driving license and fixing up the car and get some new tires. -But then I got to rob a bank, so I'm waiting to see what happens. Like a stake out. Which is not that different from the real thing. 


Broke Covid Rule: Accused of Mass Murder

 Killing Grandma!


Bombay, India. A total of 500 young adults in the Indian megacity went nuts in an underground party at a skyscraper downtown. The Police recieved concerned calls from the public in what they though was a local earth quake. 

-The building was shaking. So we evacuated the area and wow, did we get a surprise went our task force entered the building. We had to do something drastic to change the game, says Mumbai City Police media relations officer Kiran Parashar. 

-We have lots of money, we are contected, why should we not do this? says Sonia Mehra, member of the ultra rich elite who practically own Mumbai. Well.., that was the thinking before hell broke loose. Now it's all about making sure this never comes to trial. 


Photo Bashkar

Everyone Leaves When Leo Farts

-He's an animal in bed!


Townsville, Australia. We have fart exits in every room, it's like living in a firestation, with a pyroman loose in town. You never get a full night's sleep. We might have to put the cat to sleep, but that would be unfair, then he gets to sleep, says Charlotte, who is married to Noah and have 2 children together, plus 8 from 3 previous marriages.

-The cat came with the house, it's an abandoned old Queenslander in a runned down neighbourhood. Nobody came close to the house, people took detours to avoid the stank, when we found out it was the cat, we thought, we're not pussies are we? It turned out we where.

With the house for free, the family of 12 finally got a roof over their heads. -We used to live in the bush, just outside town, it was too humiliating to live in the streets, but when we lost Lucas to the rats, we had to do something, without getting caught of second degree murder, of course, for the second time...


Photo LeFrolin

Builds Public Toilet Where Trump Held a Speech

 And encourage others to do the same!


-I even tell people to find out where he most likely will be buried and start pissing. Give him a warm welcome! says Bob the plumber who has been seriously ashamed of being a Republican for the last 5 years. It has felt like when my wife caught me with her dentist everyday. I got such a headache. 

Trump Toilets are so in sync with what Trump stood for because he was so full of shit. The toilets must have been packed wherever he spoke. Can you believe it? The crowds took in all that shit. Time in and time out. It was like a shit machine. So much shit flying around nobody noticed when it hit the fan. 

The Trump Toilets will be free to use and drug addicts are welcome to shoot their needles in our booths. Our doors are also open for homeless people. Every one who got their life kicked in by that son of a bitch can come and pay their disrespect for free!


Astronaut Fired: Was Too Down To Earth

Chill... 


Binge-watching Friends in space might have been the drop that made Control terminate the mission. -We're not sending astronauts in space to bond. They got a job to do and it's nota  8-5 situation, it's a 24-7-365 non-stop no questions asked, thank you.

The astronaut, who's known for throwing great parties, both on earth and in space, says in a party invitation in the International Space Station this Saturday that Command has no jurisdiction in space and that he has prepared the event carefully. -All the weed is grown in space. 

However, he do admitt he likes a bit of danger. -I have experimented and synthesized well known earth drugs and made new mutant space editions. I really look forward to trying them this weekend. I think it's going to be a blast.

-And if I don't make it in time to work Monday morning, cause my space hangover has gone galaxtic, who cares, we don't follow earth time here. It's space, bitch!


Space Photo Ricky Arnold NASA

Baby Hitler Was Obsessed With Having His Picture Taken

This is my evil side!

He was a cute little ambitious motherfu#@*ker. He served in World War one and started the second. Considering the starting point, he really rose to the occasion.  Everybody deserves a second chance, but not a second war!

One baby really can make a change. Thank God he didn't live to start a third one. Even though baby Hitlers shoes aren't large to fill, many has tried, but failed. 

The reason they go wrong is their feet are too big. The whole concept with Hitler is he got it all wrong, as in ALL!!!!!!! To start a World War you need things to go wrong in biblical proportions. Shoes that are too big is the only way to get every step wrong. Your whole life.

Few have been close, he really did it his way...

Photo Public Domain

Plans To Establish Al-Qaeda On Mars Is Underway

Feels like home

-Excatly how we're going to do it is still up in space, but we are working on it. Our tech guy just draw a plan with a stick that was very impressive, say head of Al-Qaeda's Heaven division. 

-We need to learn more about Mars, but from the pictures we have seen it looks well suited for us. If we're lucky we might even find unintelligent life there, like here on earth.

-Allah created the universe, so we see it as our duty to make sure it stays that way, that no infidel come back and tells us othervise, but how on mars are we going to pull that off? We have enough trouble as it is staying alive on this planet.

Illustration WikiImages

Ordinary Joe Convinced He Had Special Driving Skills

-I've been to Canada, it got to count for something, right?!


-Give me a break here, how hard can it be? says Joe who has no sympathy for the local rescue service. -They're idiots!  The spokesperson for the  service say they know the driver is and that it's not the first time he gets into spectacular shit. -We have blown our budget many times on that fuckhead.

Gerry, who's head of the regional rescue services, informs us of a public statement issued two weeks ago where they all agreed to let Joe die, whatever the hell he gets up to next time. -It's better for the environment. 

-We have to think about climate change and this is a great initiative to save the planet. If there is one guy who could acctually damage earth, it's Joe. So, we're all very pleased to see him go.

Dumped On First Class

 Valentine's Day didn't quite turn out as planned

The trip to Paris on daddy's private jet went hellwire when his fiance discovered he had slept with her best friend.

-I tried to explain what happened to the doctor, but he wouldn't have it. Olson, who miraculously  survived the fall, was however beleived by the people at Guniness Records and is currently the proprietary of the most spectacular brake up in history.

-I though a plane would be a safe space to unveil my darkest secret, boy was I wrong. I keep telling my insurance company it got nothing to do with drugs, it's all about sex, as if that is any better..


Photo Pexels

Aung San Suu Kyi's Favorite Movie is Home Alone

and Rambo.. according to annonymous sources.

The film is rumored to play on repeat on Myanmar Army TV, a douchebag station showing just shit and Home Alone. 

The Myanmar Army has a lot of weapon, so the people of Myanmar has to put up with army tv for as long as they got bullets to fire. 

The price for streaming some good shows is slightly higher than in the West... slightly. If you meassure in weight, the weight of the metal that goes into making coins and bullets. It's not worth it for most Myanmarans. 


Russia Jails Anti Corruption Fighter Alexei Navalny.. WHAT?!

As in WOW, we didn't see that coming... yeah right!

Russians notorious antiput, Alexei Navalny, the king of pop media, got thrown in jail for undressing the rich @#₽$€£ in Kremlin.

Nobody like having their private property parts ridiculed in public, even if they deserve it. And boy do they. Few people deserve it more.

Holding 145 million people hostage to live your Tsar dream with your mates is pretty fucked up. Its a dangerous game, especially when the 145 million says thats it.


Bear High Fived Visitor He Tried To Eat Last Week

 Damn!

For reasons unknown to bearkind, the person who nearly died in the massive jaws came back for more. He escaped from the operating theatre at the hospital and took the bus down here. Not an ideal situation.  

Apparently he had a 50/50 percent chance of survival and said he had some unfinnished business to take care of first, in case he didn't make it.

The Zoo staff does not want to go into further details about the specifics of the unfinnishes businees, but say in general that bear attacks are good for business. Especially when they're real nasty.

Photo Kevin Ramirez

Can Corona Spread Through Farts?

 Are Corona farts deadly?


The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind. 

Not even Bob Dylan knows..


Illustration : OpenClipart-Vectors

There's a New Sheriff in Town

...and he's not a f#$*$& @$Ƨ%#!!! 

Mr. Good Times

It's gonna be hard times for bad people and good times for good people. The clean up has begun... The mess of a Century. Gone. 

Lets party like it's 2009!!!!!!


Photo The White House

Yes, He Really Was the President... For Real

Only a Celebrity Suicide Can Top This...

I'm not kidding, he still fucking am, untill January the 20th unless somebody throws him out. I'd like the feds to come in and bust the guys ass and carry him out like those corrupt business fuckers. That would do it for me. He's earned it.

Photo Shealah Craighead - White House 

The Republican Party is Dead

Party's Over...


The American political party, also known as Trump's Club, died in a massive political suicide in Washington DC today. A long and turbulent time finally came to and end.

State leaders from all over the world send their condolences and thanks God that the madness is over. 

Some people are better of in the ash heap of history. 


Photo The Long Sleep

Mud Party at Capitol Hill

 Last dance with Monster Trump


Trump is going out with a bang. More likely thrown out with a bang after todays coup attempt at Capitol Hill. He's probably left the country, says Washington insiders. Hiding like some overhrown dictator somewhere in South America. A bungalow, in the jungle. Eating bananas and going about his business, without toilet paper. 

Thats one way to go. From riches to rags. Once he was the President of the greatest country on earth. Now he's thrown out of even his own golf club.


Trump Expected in Hell on the 20th

 VERY DANGEROUS ARRIVAL

The town is in total lockdown until the beast is under control, but there is no need to worry, we have done this before, it's what we do, says the conductor in charge.

-We put people like Trump in cages and chain them up, like a gorilla. And we have enough weapons onboard to wipe out any army, anywhere in the world, any time, in seconds, should he or his followers try anything.

-It's a small step for me, it's my just job, but it's a huge leap for mankind. It's like an earth landing, get that ego down to earth.

-You know, we take pride in taking bad care of our visitors. Trump will no doubt get our special treatment. The kind saved for our deserving visitors. Miles away from what tourists experience when they go through Hell.

-American Presidents has a tendency to visit Norway. Obama was here too, but he was here for polar opposite reasons, to recieve the Nobel Peace Prize.

-Everyone can come see Trump displayed on Hell Square every Saturday in a pillory until the dawn of time. The charge is 1 dollar and spitting in his face. The money will go to building the new Monster Trump Park. An educational amusement park design to remind human kind of the horrors  created by theatrical asholes Trump alike.


Photo Chris Shervey

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