14 Women Who Came Forward With Sexual Harassment In China Died

China News Agency confirm the tragic death of 14 female Communist Party members who passed away in simultaneous car crashes: It's a tragic day for our nation, but in times like this, it's also important to remember that it's just a coincident. Shit happens...

The men who where accused of sexual misconduct remain nameless, according to China News Agency they prioritise to keep their lips sealed to honour the victims family, their children, since they never get to prove their innocence.

Now, more deaths, another 600 women died from eating poisonous food at shopping markets all over China, reports China News Agency...

Photo Jim Gordon

Mugabe Remember The Good Times

-It's all in the head.

The 92 year old tyrann reflect on his 37 years as leader of Zimbabwe in his pre written autography I Was The Best Leader The World Has Ever Seen And Ever Will.

The book, which has already been in bookstores for a few years, is now on mandatory sale. Meaning, every citizen of Zimbabwe has a choice between buying the book and prison.

The sales price has been tripled in the event and all the money will go to a weekend trip to London for Mugabe and his people, meaning his crew, not the people.

-We should be able to spend it all in a weekend. If we don't, we have promised to place the rest in his young wife/sexdoll's offshore account for later use, says the publisher Regime Books.

Photo Vanguard

Mugabe Steps Down After Consulting With Aliens

The much hated tyrann of Zimbabwe finally came to his senses after 37 years of madness. - After speaking to the green little men who visited from outer space, I now realise that it wasn't my people who f#*& up, it was me, says Mugabe.

-However, since they knew, I blame my people for not making this clear to me. I don't understand why they didn't. Did they think this was some kind of game?

-So whatever misery this has brought upon my people, I don't blame me. They brought this on themselves. How could I have done anything when I didn't know?

-Not only do they not tell me when I can do something about it, for some reason unknown to man, they decide to tell me when it's too late. Just another evidence of how dumb my people are.

Photo file photo

Trump Behind Al Franken Accusations

The dirty old bastard tries desperately to destroy potential enemies for the upcoming election. It's the only way he can win. If the democrats come up with anything better than Hillary, he's doomed and he knows it.

The Russians denies all ties to the matter. "He actually did this on his own, we are proud of him, he's learning".

Images by Sarah Wasko

Al Franken Takes A Jesus

Al Franken is wrongfully accused of sexual assault by his boss, the headliner, during a USO tour entertaining the troops. Al Franken was brought in to assist the headliner and improve the quality of the show after a series of, allegedly, poor performances by the headliner.

This change did not go well down with the shows star, the MC, the Master of the Ceremony aka the headliner. She refused to cooperate with the army on this one and alienated Al Franken the whole tour. As the boss in the relationship, she could.

The headliner never spoke or integrated with him offstage for the entire 19 show tour, making it difficult for her assistant, Al Franken, to do both his job, improve the show and sexually harass her. It is uncommon for men to sexually harass their boss and it's also virtually impossible, unless the boss wants it. A decade later, she does.

Chances are, that a few innocent men will go down in #MeToo. Men that behave well, but become  victim of the vanity of powerful women. The accuser in this case is not someone who didn't have a voice. She had the voice and she had the power to silence him and as a result the show suffered.

There's too many small lies in this accusation for it to be believable. And the so called "photo evidence" who show Al Franken smiling to the camera while pretending to grope the headliner sleeping in full army combat uniform, is not groping, it's smiling to the camera while pretending to grope the headliner sleeping in full army combat uniform.

You would think that the army combat uniform who protect her body from enemy fire also could protect her from groping. Well, it does. It's not possible to grope through a bullet proof west. It's a bullet proof west! It stops bullets!

Al Franken, with his long tenure at SNL was used to making fun of big egos and difficult people, so we at the WMA headquarters, meaning the bedroom of the writer, are not shocked that he ends the tour by mocking the headliner who's acted like a total bitch the whole time.

So why Al Franken? Why now? Lets not forget he is in the running to be the Democrats candidate in the next Presidential election. This is a person Trump really fears. So much that he jumps on the tweet wagon. Trump needs Al out of the way to have a shot at re-election.

Trumps tactic is to accuse others of what he does himself. Would it be such a long shot to accuse him of having a hand in this?

Photo Stephen Maturen

Mugabe Decides To Stay On The Planet A Bit Longer

-This is worse than the return of the dead. We where so close to get rid of him, why why?! ask locals.

Photo zbc

High Security Prison Prevented Post Apocalyptic Nightmare

-If he got his way, it would be no tomorrow, but we stopped him and thousands like him. Without us there would hardly be life on earth at all, says Prison Employee John Locker.

-All for a lousy 15 dollars an hour. I should have opened the gate a long time ago. That's why I voted for Trump. Revenge is mine. Bring it on!

Photo Public Domain

Charles Manson Leaves The Planet

What appears to be a very good day for earth can backfire as this evil creature start his journey into space. Astrologists predict he will try to escape hell by hiding his soul in a dark hole. 

-We hope hell finds him before he find a hole to hide in. It's virtually impossible to find such a dark soul in a dark hole, says Future Time & Spaceman Gorgo. 

-We suspect this is where dark matter come from. Evil people who escaped hell. The first dark hole ever discovered was created by Adolf Hitler.

Photo PIRO4D

#HeToo Illuminati Forced To Star In Bad Movie

-Their still on contract, we thought of doing Prison Break again, but we landed on a twist remake of The League of Extraordinary Unpleasent Men. We cast them in roles who match their real life character and put them in scenes that showcase the behaviour their accused off, says Hollywood producer.

-We'll distribute the movie globally. For some of the actors, the characters they play is no different than what they portrayed before. And even though we deliberately make this film as bad as possible, as far as Hollywood go, the audience won't see the difference...

Photo Maryland GovPics