Even Mormons Believe 72 Virgins Is Too Much

The masters of polygrami question what good these men are for these women. -They are certainly not much of use dead, says Moron Mormonson.

-The whole thing is pretty lame, have they even though about condoms? With so much screwing around and no protection, paradise gotta be full of diseases by now, I mean, can you even get to heaven and not get AIDS these days?

-And for as long as Islam has existed, has anyone bothered to ask the women what they think? Is consent even a word in Arabic? It's time Arabic women demand 72 young stallions when they please. Women has to stand up for themselves, cause men are not doing it. I'm certainly not.

Photo wnk1029

London Bridge Attacker Denied Access to Paradise

-Right now Usman Khan is boiling in hell. When he is fully cooked, Satan will fry him in a nuclear reactor for 5 million years. What happens after that is not possible for humans to imagine, but I can assure you it's bad, it's very bad says Hell's spokesperson Satan junior.

Photo Johannes Plenio

Greta Thunberg Got a Boyfriend, Drops the Climate Stuff

Greta Thunberg and her new boyfriend Sebastian, a dj from Skåne, are planing to escape to the Amazonas jungle. Sebastian, who allegedly don't believe in climate change, has agreed to participate in the wild teenage fantasy.

-Running away has always been a dream of mine, ever since I was a little girl. Since I get the opportunity already as a medium girl, thanks to all this, I'm gonna take it. Why wait when I don't have to? says Greta to a journalist 5 times older than her.

Photo European Parlament

The Rich Celebrate White Friday on Black Friday

-We celebrate that we don't need to buy cheap inexpensive goods. We can buy whatever we want, whenever we want. No questions asked, says Richie Godman.

-Everyday is Black Friday to us, so White Friday, thats the one day we get together at the riviera and laugh at all the other people who got a tiny little window to shop what they desperatly need.

Black Friday is a selfhelp day for the poor masses, it's how we avoid giving aid. Without Black Friday I would have to share my wealth with these people and there's no way I'm doing that. Thats why we arrange Black Friday. Let the poor do the work themselves... ha ha!

Photo Hans

Most Joked About In History

Acording to NSA 400 trillion Trump jokes have been told since he entered the world stage. Thats a staggering 172 million jokes a second and a world record. More people laugh at him than Chaplin.

-It will probably never be beaten, says NSA analysts Francisca Hiding. The whole world is laughing at him. It doesn't happen that often. And never for that long.

People have laughed non stop at this guy for 4 years now. No moviestar in history has shown staying power like that. It's ridiculous.

Photo The White House

Climate Change Deniers Want Age Limit in the UN Building

-We don't want to be told how to live our life by teenangers, especially not retarded onces, says George Coolio in the comment section on haters online.

-Thee's enough dummies among the adults.

Photo Praytino 

Boris Johnson to Wrestle Donald Trump in the White House

"You'd better be there". "I live there, bonzo".

As negotiations fell through between the two nations, Boris Johnson and Donald Trump decided to lay it all on the floor and wrestle for it. Whoever wins gets it all.

Mudwrestling and boxing where also considered along with cagefighting and Muay Thai, but since both men are best at showmanship, wrestling felt like the natural choice.

If Boris loose USA gets UK back and if Donald loose, UK gets France. The match will take place Sunday, September 5th, 2020.

Photo The White House