Fewer And Fewer Paedophiles Seek Careers As Catholic Priests

St. Pervert's Church. According to Nambla, the worlds most ridiculous organisation, paedophiles prefer not to associate themselves with the Catholic Church.

-We prefer other parts of society which has yet to be revealed, says child molester David Stormson who has been shot 15 times since it got known he was a little bit different that the other people living in Charlton, Burmingham.

-I walked down the street one day and an old lady pulled out a gun from her purse and shot me in the head. When the paramedics found my id on the way to he hospital, they drove me back and threw me out of the ambulance. Then a dog came and pissed on me. I think I got driven over 15 times when I crawled home.

-The power was out. All my belongings where vandalised and a hand grenade got thrown into my living room. I called the cops, they came and beat me up. Told me to never call again unless I wanted euthanasia. Two weeks later I did and they looked att me and decided there was no reason to end the pain so early. So they brought some prisoners and raped me.

-I try to avoid professions where I`m recognised, except the BBC, or the safe house as we liked to call it. We could always get our sins forgiven in the Catholic Church, but Jesus`s policy doesn`t work these days. Everybody wants revenge. 15 of the kids I abused became special force soliders. Thanks god their busy with Afghanistan... for now. I hope that war goes on forever.

-No, I don`t see the Lord as my calling card in life, cause I`ll meet him soon enough.

Photo Andreas Tille

Most Humans Still Alive Half Way Through Trumps Presidency

-Humanity will survie Trump, says Ali Baba junior, he got less than 2 years left, there's not enough time to kill 7 billion people. ...