Running men

Leg abuse. -People keep asking me how did you win? You??? And I keep telling them cause I`m the best. You newer saw this on television cause the tv-producers didn`t show it, but just before the finish line I pulled down my pants, wiped out my c**k and peed on everyone.

-Best thing is they can`t take me for cheating. I never used drugs, just check my piss. It`s right there, actually it`s everywhere. I got some party bladder. I newer pie when I drink. I make one hose off the next morning. Must take close to 10 liters.

-I work as a reserve firefighter when I`m not running, in case they need some extra hoses. Nobody else really wants to hire me so I`m fine with it. If the fire is close by I stay home, whip it out the window and do it from there unless there`s buildings in the way. If so I turn on the telly and call in empty.

-Athletically I do great, but on a personal level I tend to fuck it up every time. I get jealous when guys take likings in my girlfriend and to keep them off I pie on her. I can`t stop it. It`s an animal instinct I`m not in control of. I get the same face every time, "Are you out of your f*#king mind?". "Yes honey I am. Can you get me a beer while your angry at me so I don`t have to deal with you? okay, I`ll get it myself...".  

-You might ask why I run when there is so much else I could not do. It keeps me off the drugs. It`s either marathon or heroin. I wish it could take me off the streets aswell, but you can`t get everything in life can you. Not when I keep peeing on everything.  

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