Skip to main content

Educated to death

Human sculpting. -I lost my normal eyesight from reading all the f@#king books. Now I can`t even drive my car without smashing into something. It`s not fair. I didn`t even care about those tittles. They where all boring and had nothing in them that spoke to me. Seriously, do you expect me to care about Shakespeare - ever?! I prefer Mad Men any day.

-Why did I have to learn math? I haven`t used it yet. When do you need math?! I`ve lived for 30 years and I´ve never been in a situation where I had to find out how long it takes X to get from A to B if C is f@#ked.

-I got a sore ass syndrome. My butt where never designed to sit on a wooden stool for 8 hours a day for 18 f@#king years. It`s a walking muscle for christ sake. It`s the biggest muscle in our body and we sit on it?!

-I nearly died during last exams. I was so bored my brain shut down. I had spent the last three weeks reading around the clock with no interest or sleep. My head bashed into the desk. The exam guard thought I was drunk so he let me lie there with a broken neck. 6 hours later they rushed me to the emergency hospital. Finally some action! I insisted on driving the ambulance, but they wouldn`t let me. I said it`s my f@#king neck. If you don`t like it, get out. They refused to co-operate so I threw them out. From what I saw in the rear mirror they would most likely need an ambulance themselves. Then they can drive that one. This one`s mine.

-I`ve never felt more alive than when I crashparked into the emergency room at the hospital. F@#king ey! That`s when I realized I got to get out of uni and see the real world. I`ve wasted my entire life sitting behind a desk listening to some jerk who didn`t give a shit about what he teached or smelled like.

-I never went back to class. Instead I opened a rehabilitation centre where I offer dropout programs for students who want to get back into society and live like a normal human being.

Photo dcJohn

Popular posts from this blog

Bodybuilder Ate World Food Reserve

Ups. -I didn't intend to, but I'm preparing for the Olympia and first things first, says the man who ate it all.

How do you justify your enormous appetite to the poor people who starves? -When I win I'll thank them for sacrificing themselves.

-But it's hard for me to think of anything else than myself, says the man who is responsible for the global food shortage. I'll probably be more up for a snack.


Melania Takes Out Divorce, Sick Of Trump

Melania Trump is reportedly sick of her husbands behaviour and has filed for divorce. Trump tried to talk her into continuing as a second lady, but negotiations fell through. She wants half.

According to White House rumours, Trump offered her Canada instead and threw in Mexico to shut her up, but Melania turns out to be a better dealmaker than her husband.

She can literary travel back to Eastern Europe with Eastern USA in her suitcase. That's a First Lady!

Photo The White House

ISIS Warrior Has To Go Back To Being A Looser

He was promised a leadership job in the Islamic state with competitive salary. He was looking forward to finally earning millions of dollars.

He only made a few lousy bucks washing floors in a hopping centre that was about to be closed, but he could continue the American dream in the caliphate and work his way up, until it collapsed and made him a no paid prison toilet cleaner.

Photo Beacon of Hope