Skip to main content

Constant access

iHell. -The bitch wont let me be alone. 400 phone calls, 750 messages, just today!!! It`s f@#king unbelievable! I didn`t leave the house so she could continue bitch`n. I did it to get the hell out of there. Guess what honey, I don`t want to see you right now. And maybe you cool down after a few hours. But no, he`s got an iPhone. Let`s bomb him with the wireless bullshit all day long. I`d rather marry a terrorist. Atleast they blow themselves up.

-Now the iPad is coming too. As if my life isn`t distracted enough already. Yeah, thats just what I need. Another gadget to take the focus off my life. God, I can`t even remember my wife`s name. No matter she`s angry at me. How the hell can you expect me to remember our anniversary when I can even remember your name?

-My brain is not made for all this focus change. It works fine as long as it`s on autofocus, but the moment I get distracted I loose perspective of my life. I keep looking on these gadgets all the time! I mean, my eyes hurt, they really hurt!

-So I went to a therapist and he told me to get rid of my gadgets and I went "are you out of your fucking mind?!"... and he was. "Do you think my life is that much better?! Hey, I know I complain, but what else can I do?

-I can`t say out loud I hate my life, my wife, my job, my everything. Who want to hear the truth? No one, the least me! What do you think keeps me off the anti depresants? It`s the gadgets. They take the focus away from the real problem - me. So I don`t have to deal with it. Who wants to deal with me? Not even my wife means it when she says she love me. It`s just to get by.

-Why do you think she sleeps with my best friend? And why do you think I don`t care? Cause I`m not there. It`s the only way I can survive this shit. Lying there in bed while my best friend porks at my wife isn`t that easy. I need the distraction or one of us is gonna end up dead and thats not gonna be me. Now, I`m gonna charge you for this session, cause you obviously needed to learn a little about life".

-Fuker never paid.

Photo Courtney Nash

Popular posts from this blog

Bodybuilder Ate World Food Reserve

Ups. -I didn't intend to, but I'm preparing for the Olympia and first things first, says the man who ate it all.

How do you justify your enormous appetite to the poor people who starves? -When I win I'll thank them for sacrificing themselves.

-But it's hard for me to think of anything else than myself, says the man who is responsible for the global food shortage. I'll probably be more up for a snack.

Photon-o-n-a-m-e

Sexiest #MeToo Off The Year

Al Franken, the politician representing a political party who didn't have the guts to stand up for whats right when the wind blew the other way.

Innocent or not, wether your John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton or the up until now, next in line, these days you have to be a Russian to win the election.

Sorry Al, you where too American. The times are a changin...

Photo Lorie Shaull

Darth Vader Apologize For Not Causing More Pain

Darth Vader says in a statement sent to all corners of the Galaxy that he is truly sorry for not being more scary. -It was my intention that you would have to live with this, not speak up about it, clearly I've done a bad job.

Darth Vader has promised the Emperor that all accusers will be silenced by dawn and that he will not bring shame upon the Empire ever again.

-I've learned my lesson. I'm not a comedian. I'm an evil Sith Lord. It's my mission to destroy the Rebel Alliance. However, to reach my goal I might have to re-evaluate my strategy.


Photo mendemonda