Skip to main content

Justin Bever: -I was a sodaholic

Talks about his drinking problem. -My manager and him though it would be good for sales that I had an addiction, so he came up with soda pop. I`m a little too young for alcohol, but that didn`t stop me from being wasted. I used to drink 8-10 cans a day before I had to quit cause my pocket money didn`t allow me to. So I called my mum from the candy store and asked her for more money for fizzy drinks and she transferred 50 dollars to my account, but I had an image to maintain, so I yelled YOU F#&@ WHORE before I slammed up on her and told the clerk to call the Police. I filed a report on both my parents for child abuse and made sure plenty of media was around when I said music is therapy for me. I can`t afford a real shrink since my parents drink up everything I earn. Music is my only friend. It`s the only one who`s been there for me.

-Later that evening I kicked the neighbour`s dog and trashed my bedroom. Which is like the stupidest thing I`ve ever done, cause now my neighbours are really mad at me and my parents aren`t there to beat them up or clean up my room. I had to do that myself. I`ve newer touched a soft drink since.

Photo jake.auzzie

Popular posts from this blog

Bodybuilder Ate World Food Reserve

Ups. -I didn't intend to, but I'm preparing for the Olympia and first things first, says the man who ate it all.

How do you justify your enormous appetite to the poor people who starves? -When I win I'll thank them for sacrificing themselves.

-But it's hard for me to think of anything else than myself, says the man who is responsible for the global food shortage. I'll probably be more up for a snack.

Photon-o-n-a-m-e

Sexiest #MeToo Off The Year

Al Franken, the politician representing a political party who didn't have the guts to stand up for whats right when the wind blew the other way.

Innocent or not, wether your John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton or the up until now, next in line, these days you have to be a Russian to win the election.

Sorry Al, you where too American. The times are a changin...

Photo Lorie Shaull

Darth Vader Apologize For Not Causing More Pain

Darth Vader says in a statement sent to all corners of the Galaxy that he is truly sorry for not being more scary. -It was my intention that you would have to live with this, not speak up about it, clearly I've done a bad job.

Darth Vader has promised the Emperor that all accusers will be silenced by dawn and that he will not bring shame upon the Empire ever again.

-I've learned my lesson. I'm not a comedian. I'm an evil Sith Lord. It's my mission to destroy the Rebel Alliance. However, to reach my goal I might have to re-evaluate my strategy.


Photo mendemonda