Skip to main content

Justin Bever: -I was a sodaholic

Talks about his drinking problem. -My manager and him though it would be good for sales that I had an addiction, so he came up with soda pop. I`m a little too young for alcohol, but that didn`t stop me from being wasted. I used to drink 8-10 cans a day before I had to quit cause my pocket money didn`t allow me to. So I called my mum from the candy store and asked her for more money for fizzy drinks and she transferred 50 dollars to my account, but I had an image to maintain, so I yelled YOU F#&@ WHORE before I slammed up on her and told the clerk to call the Police. I filed a report on both my parents for child abuse and made sure plenty of media was around when I said music is therapy for me. I can`t afford a real shrink since my parents drink up everything I earn. Music is my only friend. It`s the only one who`s been there for me.

-Later that evening I kicked the neighbour`s dog and trashed my bedroom. Which is like the stupidest thing I`ve ever done, cause now my neighbours are really mad at me and my parents aren`t there to beat them up or clean up my room. I had to do that myself. I`ve newer touched a soft drink since.

Photo jake.auzzie

Popular posts from this blog

Bodybuilder Ate World Food Reserve

Ups. -I didn't intend to, but I'm preparing for the Olympia and first things first, says the man who ate it all.

How do you justify your enormous appetite to the poor people who starves? -When I win I'll thank them for sacrificing themselves.

-But it's hard for me to think of anything else than myself, says the man who is responsible for the global food shortage. I'll probably be more up for a snack.

Photon-o-n-a-m-e

Melania Takes Out Divorce, Sick Of Trump

Melania Trump is reportedly sick of her husbands behaviour and has filed for divorce. Trump tried to talk her into continuing as a second lady, but negotiations fell through. She wants half.

According to White House rumours, Trump offered her Canada instead and threw in Mexico to shut her up, but Melania turns out to be a better dealmaker than her husband.

She can literary travel back to Eastern Europe with Eastern USA in her suitcase. That's a First Lady!


Photo The White House

ISIS Warrior Has To Go Back To Being A Looser

He was promised a leadership job in the Islamic state with competitive salary. He was looking forward to finally earning millions of dollars.

He only made a few lousy bucks washing floors in a hopping centre that was about to be closed, but he could continue the American dream in the caliphate and work his way up, until it collapsed and made him a no paid prison toilet cleaner.


Photo Beacon of Hope