About Time To Throw Turkey And Hungary Out Of NATO

Friends of Putin has no place in NATO. If Recap Erdogan and Viktor Orban like him so much, why dont they join him on the battlefield in Ukraine?

Kill 3 birds with one stone. 

Honestly, who can seriously oppose to Finland and Sweden joining NATO? Only traitors. 

Finland and Sweden are great countries, much better than Turkey and Hungary, this is an easy fix: throw those corrupt Putinouses out and replace them with grown up Scandinavian viking blood.

With emphasis on grown up.

Leaking Russians Everywhere

One would think the largest country in the world could hold on to its own people, but no, Russia leaks like a sieve. 

It's one of those situations where the people are smarter than their leader, they see through their bullshit, calculate the outcome and desides to hell with it and looks for a fresh start elsewhere. 

Classic immigration.

She's Dead

You all know who, and you are all probably tired of all the profesional and social media coverage, so unless it turns out Queen Elisabeth had slaves, we're gonna shut it.

Gorb Hit The Bucket, If Only It Was Putin...

The world will miss Mikhail Gorbatsjov, unlike  Putin. In fact, we all publicly, as in out loud, vocally, expressed our hope it was Putin who had died when the news of a leader in Moscow had passed. If only... 

If there is any reconciliation, his day wil come too, there is no escape... for anyone.

Trumpty Dumty Makes America Awful Again

Sucker for looser, the former President aims at destroying America if he does't win the next election. 

As the Feds found the nuke papers at his holiday home in Florida, he better run fast, if he's gets to run at all.

There's something offputting about blown up ego's thats trying to steal neclear weapons in envy.

If Every Human Gave Ukraine $10, It's Enough To Throw Out Russia

Joking aside:

A quick search online will show you how to help Ukraine. It's up to you who wins this war. You and me. Us. Not Putin. He doesn't have a say in this. 

We decide who wins the war. We decide who gets to tap into the world reserves of resources. Once their flodding in, there's no army in the world who can stop it. 

Certainly not the fifth biggest. There are armies that can take them out alone, 4, to be precise, so donate $10 and let the Russians feel how tiny they are.

Right now we all pay too much for everything because the Russian invasion causes so many global problems that the prices go up.

The best way to stop that is to stop Russia. So your $10 investment in Ukraine will pay back later with world order and regular price again. 

Give Ukraine $10 today. Save hundreds next year. If enough people do this, it will work, if we all do it, it will definitely work. 

Nobody can stand up to the world, certainly not a fucked up megalomaniac like Putin. He's an easy match if we decide to take him down. 

There's every reason in the world to do it, so lets all get behind Ukraine, donate the $10 and let them kick that motherfucker in the face and throw out his fucking army.

Word. 

This has been a message supported by common sense.

World Food Crisis Can Be Solved By Eating Putin

An attempt to re-introduce cannibalism to solve the world food crisis caused by the Russians is already on its way. 

A group of cannibals hiding deep in an unknown jungle in Asia has been brought out to infiltrate the Kremlin and eat Putin. 

To blend in they are currently trained to act like Russian soldiers in a low iq faciliy for severly deranged people and the mission is expected to take place before any world organisation gets to have a say if this is a good idea or not. 

The mission is initiated and fully payed for by the African governments who are the most hurt by the Russian blockade of the Ukranian export wheat.

-We believe in the use of soft power and I'm sure Putin will be nice and tender when our cannibals set their teeth in him, says the spokesperson for the operation, Osaka Mojokaka.

Russia Aims To Continue To Be A Shit Country

WMA has made the decition it's no need to dive further into the pool of shit. A shit is a shit. Additional explaination is excessive.

There Isn't A Plastic Surgeon In The World Who Can Save Putins Face Now

 -He could try a total reface, there are clinics in Central America who proced such operations, but he has to arrive there alive. The surgeons can't fix a dead body. Not in the shape he'll be in, says European Army Scientics, Adaku Musa, from Nigeria, at The African Union War House in Addis Abada in Ethiopia.

-Getting to Central America in one piece, forget it. Not now. If he come with a plane, they will shoot him down. Somebody. Anybody. Doesn't matter at this point. He's toast. He's not making it outside Russia alive and it's only a matter of time how long he can survive inside. 

-Besides, I don't think they operate war criminals, criminals for sure, but not war criminals, it's bad for business, who wants to be associated with that?! Or Europeans? Their a mess!

Russian State Propaganda To Only Show Putins Balls

A close up of his sweaty testicles will be transmitted to all news organizations in Russia. -It's a live feed, where we see him swing his dick under the long table, masturbate under meetings... it's sick informs anonymous employee in Kremlin.

-It just goes on and on... he compares the size of his testicles with eggs constantly, he mesures it, weights it, he'd got a special ball mirror, he's completely lost it. 

-He even walk nude around the Kremlin at night asking guards if they've ever seen macho balls like his. Then he squeezes them in a nut cracker and asks for money!

War in Ukraine: World Might Bomb EVERY Russian Embassy & Property Connected to Putin

The testosterone blob face might get a hard knock on the door if every foreign outlet get smashed by the host Nations. Forcing the Putin bitches to take refugee in the country they operate, where they no longer can hide their dirty agenda.

That or taste their own medicine, stay in the premises and get bombed.

Aliens Pick Up Unusual Activity On Earth

-Everything happening on the surface of earth is visable anywhere in the universe, so the Russian army is defenitly destroying earth's reputation in space, if we have one, says head of earth tourism at NASA Olivia Smith.

-If there is intelligent life in space, we can't expect them to want to come here. I seriously doubt they would see us as intelligent. Who in space would want to go to earth and risk having to deal with the Russian army?

-I hope there is hyper inteligent life out there who notice whats happening in Ukraine right now and isn't afraid of intervention.

Russian Army Might Turn On Putin

The 200.000 Russian soldiers, who where fooled, told to show up for an exercise, when it was industrial massacre, of their Ukrainian friends.., might to set an example for the history books.

A "herobullet" with the ingraved text last war on earth has been made to execute the dictator for the hellish betray. It's an hypersonic bullet, who is specially designed to penetrate Putins skull, then explode midway.

Irreversible actions are put in motion to stop the warmonger by death, the only worries among the special task force given the heroic assignment is that they'll get to him in time. Chances are he's dead already when they get to him. 

There's so many who want him dead now, even within his own bubble, so we kinda expect him to pussy out in a bunker Hitler style. It's the best for everyone. Who wants to face this? says name brother, but not in anyway related, not even in the wildest sense, Vladimir Mир.

World To Initiate Global Cyber Attack On Key Assholes In Russia

The inner and outer circle of Putins war ring and all the soldiers serving in the Russian army face a dark future as four hundred million computer engineers world wide signed up to fuck up their lifes.

Thats 2000 people pr russian fuckhead who will relentlessly go after them, day and night untill they live like cavemen.

A list with everyone participating in the invasion of Ukraine is now circulating around the globe and split into target list according to the skills of the international cyber army. 

-We divide the names according to who we can damage the most. Our capacity to destroy far surpass the Russian nuclear arsenal. Thats so 20th Century technology.

-We can fuck up the world a million different ways with surgical precision, says a Brazillian volunteer in the "Cyber Justice Leauge". 

-Nobody involved with the invasion is safe. Ever. They will all die a horrible death, but not untill we've fucked'em up real good first, like a digital Holocaust.

Every Russian Soldier Who Cross The Ukrainian Border Will Be Sent Back In A Bodybag

Word!

The world will make sure of it. 

-Second thought it might be containers, or we'll just leave'em on the battlefield for the birds and rats. It's not first priority, say proud fighter on the ground inside Ukraine.

Santa With Rare Wish: Kill Putin

It's not often Santa Claus has a wish, but after watching the news lately he thought it was time to make an exception. 

-I want his head in a box. I like to unwrap it and hang it on my trophy wall. Since I rely on reindeer transport I don't have those classic animal heads on my wall, out of respect to Rudolf, but now, with this lunatic running around in Russia, I see an oportunity, says Santa Claus to Ice Times.

-Kill two birds with one stone. Maybe we should change birds with dictator and do Winnie the pooh too? Hah! That will make it both Xmas day and New Years Eve! Even a dreamt up charater got to have a dreams.

World Call To Destroy Putin

Citizens of the world, the act of invading an innocent neighbour, killing thousands of people and strike fear and terror in a whole world, must be meet with a force so powerful, no other dictator will even dare to think the though. 

Stand by Ukraine, in whatever capacity, whetever you are, and join the rest of the world in taking down this Russian motherfucker. 

Putin and his corrupt regime must be destroyed at all cost. 

Death to Putin.

May he burn in hell and beyond.

Prostitution Ring In Kremlin Can Bring Putin Down

-Dont tell me these old farts aren't exploiting their position. They're all men and their invwith the dictator, something is keeping them there and it's definetly not the will of the people.

The anonymous source tells WMA its not only women who enter the facilities at night, it men too, despite the anti-gay politics they lead.

-If these women and men come forward they can bring down the powers that be in the East like the women did in the West.

-When the public become familiar with the enormous prostitution inside the walls of Kremlin, there wont be much support for a war with Ukraine. Not with #metooRussia rolling out.

-It just wont.

Putin Thinks He's The Dictator Of 60 Countries, Time To Hit The Nursing Home

It's nothing to be afraid of, growing old happens to dictators aswell. Some loose their mind, some never had it in the first place. Some smell like shit, others are full of it.

Plastic surgery can't fix everything, when its time to go, its time to go and let the younger maniacs take over. 

It's too late to become one of the truly bad dictators of all time. Mao, Stalin and Hitler ring so far above Putin there's nothing he can do in Ukraine that would impress any of them. 

He's like a relic from a different age, who fits better in Madam Tussauds wax cabinet than the real world. 

For Putin, who tried so hard, to be something, that was way too late. We will not miss you. 

Ukraine Has 150.000 Ants On The Russian Embassy Border

Ukraine has 150.000 ants ready to attack the Russian Embassy in Kyiv, in what seems to be the biggest animalistic build up since Eurovision Song Contest. -Ants are plant eaters, so this can potentially be catastrophic for the window plants inside the Embassy.

Ukraine's leader stress that this have nothing to do with the demands he put forward.

Ukraine demand that all members of the Russian Embassy cancel their membership at the Caucasus Cheese Club and that they never speak Russian again.

If not meet, it is believed that the ants will attack the Embassy.

Dictator Games Is So Yesterday

 Asking teenangers wether on not they are going to watch the upcoming winter olympics, most answers "what?".

Which is not surprising. Who really cares about dictators, regimes and communists in the free world? Nobody.., so you can't blame kids today for thinking it's a lame series on one of the countless streaming services. 

Among the more surprising findings in the survey Olympics today by Asia Institute in Vancuver, was that nearly everybody under 25 thinks China is a town in Eastern Europe. -It must be the embassy situation in Lithuania with Taiwan who got them mixed up, no that they care, says Caroll Rice, who oversaw the survey. 

-We asked them if they could at least spell Beijing, and we came up short. We got answears like, "I don't speak Polish", "I've never been to Eastern Europe", "my aunt is from Latvia, she would know" or "I lost contact with my siblings across the continent a long time ago, I have no fucking idea"... that kinda answers. 

-Our conclusion of the survey is that both winter olympics and communism is a bad idea and combined even worse. It's been so many dictator games in recent decades, both the summer and winter games are ruined, but there is hope, nobody has tried spring games and autumn games. 

-We strongly advice a fresh start, at least to attract young eyeballs from the free world.

UK: You Elected A Prime Minister Whos Married 3 Times And Can't Comb His Hair.. What Did You Expect?!

Off course he's gonna party! It's what you wanted! You wanted away from stiff upper lip, you wanted swinging Johnson and you got it! So don't come crawling now.

He's gonna swing his dick so hard around the United Kingdom, and the world when he get a chance, how he behaves in Downing Street 10 during the lock down is the last you should worry about.

You should be glad he's locked up!

Europe Issue International Arrest Order On Dicktator Vladimir Putin For Crimes Agaist Continental Peace

-The motherfucker got to pay, it's time to turn the table. We have had enough, throw the fucker behind bars, says Arrest Deputy Jayk Brutal who works for Narcotics, Art and Narsisism related crimes at Interpool.

-These idiots thinks the world is their playground?!

-His dickhead behavior create victims worldwide, people who otherwise would have good lifes, are driven away from their homes and thrown into poverty as a result from his disasterous leadership. The guy is a fool.

-Millions live in fear. It's about time his ruthless dicktator run reach an end. He is long overdo. The world has had enough. And that should serve as a warning to those other pricks around the world who could use a spanking.

-A cell at Guantamo Bay has been cleared and the guards who treated the prisoners like dogs and took selfies with them, has been called back to guard him.

NATO Will Turn Russia Into A Sausage Factory

There's no doubt Nato has evil plans for Russia. -Their planing to make nuke sausages out of us, says Putin's talks person Vladimir 23

-Nato is a scam to deliver human meat to the European market disguized ad sausages. We can't allow this to happen. The sausage factory stops in Ukraine. 

-Look, we don't want to see Ukrainians end up as sausages anymore than the next sausage, and we believe Europeans, deep down there, in the gut of their assholes, doesn't want that either, but your brainwashed with that Western propaganda. 

-So, we're here to invade you, sorry, liberate you!

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Finland Doesn't Buy Putins Horseshit

-We don't buy his dogshit either, cause it's shit. To be fair, he doesn't buy our shit either, but atleast we're not trying to sell it?! says the Finnish Surpriseminister. 

-Russia is like a kinderegg, you never know what the fuck your gonna get. So living next door, we got to watch our step, otherwise we'll walk in shit. 

Finns admit Putin deserves a leg up for trying. -That way, he can take a dump at the same time, extra bonus for whoever's buying. It can't be easy selling shit, but if it's all you got.. a man got to do what a man got to do. 

Finland, who beat Russia last time they went to war, took another path in the world than that of a travelig shit salesman.

-We make products that people need, that makes them happy and improves their quality of life, which is so fucking far from what Russia's doing, unless they made propaganda toilets to go along with scaring people shitfaced.

What's Goes On Inside Putins Lego Head?

Ukraine figured it out. -It's made of plastic! You could argue he's playing with his Lego mini-figures, but in reality there is nothing going on in there. 

It's the Ukrainian Spymaster Lyaksandro Melnyk who through substancial observation,  massive surveilance, and "just watching the dickhead on tv", brings proof to their working theory. 

-Many people thought he's got covid and lost it, like suffering from long covid related complications, or that he suffers from long dictators syndrome, but it's nothing that substancial, can't be, he' all plastic. 

-So it got to be whoever is playing him. And we all know who that is, the bloody Oligarks.

Russias Dictator Claim God Ok With Killing Ukraines

The Russian dictator talked to God in a meeting i Kremlin in Moscow last night. -He was very pale, but consider his age he was in good spirit.

-I teached him a few karate moves so he can protect himself if the war comes out of hand. You know missiles these days, I don't want murdering God on my cv, but Im okay with Ukraines, the sub-Russians. Daddy got to bring back his orphants.

The Pope strongly deny any such talks ever finding place. -God doesn't sit around in cafe's chatting with mad dictators. Certainly not in Moscow, Rome maybe, but not Moscow, for føks sake. 

-How crazy are we going to let this be? I got to have a chat with God myself and put an end to this madness. 

The Russian Empire Hacks Back

In what seems to be an act of teenage frustration, the not so mighty bear of the East, lashes out on its former slave nation, for not acting as it wants.

One might wonder, what Russia, with it's 0.02% of the worlds population got to gain from behaving like a hack. Not much, judging from history.

If there is one lesson to be learned from the Sovjet Union, it's don't do it again.

Don't be such a bitch. You lost. Empires is a thing of the past. Buy Lego instead and deal with your ego there. You have to grow up. 

If there's any reconciliation, the winner wasn't all sunshine either, but still capable of being far worse than you. 

Which is why you should shut the fuck up and stop deluding yourself with greatness before the international community once more take you down, this time maybe for good.

Whatever the cost.

Ukraine Sends 100.000 Women to the Russian Border to Calm Aggression

Not so sexy now, Putin

The women know how to handle angry men on a large scale, and it's working, the 100.000 soldiers on the Russian side are reported to be short of breath.

-Mass brainwashing is something we are used to, all they need is a new wash with dictator detergent, says Larisa who has a lifetime of experience dealing with this shit thanks to the Sovjet Union. 

-We are all humans, once we pop their bubble, nobody will fire a bullet. 

Illustration Google Maps