-Man, the shit I got to eat... If you think our hearts and minds are full of toxic waste, wait till you see what comes out of my ass. It's f@#king poisonous.
-I can kill people with my toilet dumplings. I don't need explosives. I just go into the toilet onboard a plane or in a mega city... man down.
-It's actually been like this for years. We stopped using suicide bombs before 9/11, but who will acknowledge explosive diarrhea destroyed half a train station?
-It's humiliating, but I eat more fast food than I did on the doll. Global terrorists have an understanding, "What happens at McDonalds stays at McDonalds". It's not like Jihad is gonna make me start cooking?!
- If I ever get caught my backup lie is research. I do a lot of research. It's one of the perks with this "job". I try to eat as many burgers as I can, before I eventually, die on the job. It's not like a healthy diet is gonna make me live longer, now is it.