Democracies Are Vaccinated Every 2nd Year, It's Called Election

Your vote is the vaccine!
Democratic countries takes a shoot against corruption every 2nd year. A local and regional one and a national one in 4 year intervalls. 

That prevents diseases to do too much harm before they are beaten out of the system. We could inject a shoot at any time, but as long as the system is robust to handle whatever it may face, and comfortable to live with it untill the next vaccine, there is no hurry.

It's a safety system, if you will, who prevents billions of people to be lead by one person with an equally huge ego.

That's why Jingping and Putin first and foremost export their vaccines, they don't want the people at home to get any crazy ideas.


5 Reasons To Buy A Car



1) Keeps poverty at a distance

2) Sleep longer in the morning. A car takes you much faster to work than public transport.

3) Be an a-hole for a change, screw the environment.

4) You get crazy engine power! Either you like it or not, the car goes much faster than the speed limit, EVERYWHERE! 

5) You can be the same idiot you've always been, only faster! Imagine the damage you can cause!

Let's face it, it's a selfish vehichle...

Poverty In The Rear Mirror Appear Closer Than It Is

Thank God for that!

"I'm okay with it as long as I can plow throught it like mud, but I'm not stepping into it, I'd rather be charged with roadkill", says Oliver. 

You would think a man who share his first name with the worlds most famous orphan, Oliver Twist, had a bigger heart: "Nope, I'm not having any of that shit".

"They can go to hell. As a matter of fact, they don't have to, they can starve to death right here, in these very neighbourhoods. Many do. It's much better than getting stuck in a car tyre". 

"I don't carry a spare tyre anymore. It makes no sense, I replaced it with a semi-automatic rifle a long time ago. Besides, I need the space. How many bodies can you fit in a trunk? Never enough, certainly not on these streets. It's like death row".


Photo tokapic

Santa Joins NATO

Putin Fails To Stop Him
Nothing could stop the resident from the North Pole to become a member of the alliance. "I cross a lot of borders, I fly into a lot of no-go zone's, with drones all over the place, people need to know that if they go after me, NATO will retaliate before they get a chance to open their presents."

When asked about his view on Putin trying to block his membership, Santa says this is news to him, but he will take it into account when flying over Kremlin. "That said, Putin has already been a bad boy, so he's not getting any presents anyway", says Santa. 

"Truth is, most Russians want to join NATO too, except Putin, but he's a dictator. There are 145 million brains in Russia, why listen to the one who ignore the others?".  

"He's not going to give you a present?!" 

"Merry Xmas Russia!!!"


Afghanistan: The Monkeys Are Back

Nowhere to learn
Despite none reported escaped animals from Zoos worldwide, a huge number of wild animals suddenly appeared in Kabul out of nowhere as the civilized world returned back to their world class countries.

How the international community will respond to a nation run by monkeys is in the blue, but a suggestion from Zookeepers United to define Afghanistan as not earth, gains support globally. 

Every country has emmbassies, a turf inside their own territory where foreign nations rule, lets strech that thought and introduce planet embassies with aliens. 

That way we are not acountable for their actions and legaly free to nuke them if they in any shape or form become a treat to our way of living... on planet earth.

Western Democracies Envy China For Putting An End To Song Contests

 If only we had the balls..


-I wouldn't stop at song contests. There's too many white people on tv. Too many rich and famous idiots. Too many talents shows, reality shows, too much crap. Hey, turn the whole thing black. Black lifes matter! says Many Williams in California, USA.

-But if those Chinese pricks come here and tell me what to do I'll kick those yellow brick stones back to Asia. No tiny Asian get to tell me what I can and can't do. Watch it, China. I'm keeping an eye on you. You think your're so powerful since your so many, but I'll tell you. I count 10 Chinese per 1 black dude. 

-Me and my girls at the Zumba class can beat up a whole section of Beijing alone. So watch it, China. We're on to ya! It's okay your stopping those song contests, as long as you sing Mandarin shit, if I hear a Chinese girl don't get to sing Beyonce, oh my God, you're in trouble!


Photo microfile. org  

Terrorist Looks Forward to Enjoy the World Cup in Qatar in a Peaceful Manner

Exchanges terror network with hooligans


-Normally I like to cause mayhem, but it's in Qatar, bloody hell. It's my neck of the wood! As in my choosen neighbourhood, not my acctual neighbourhood, cause I live in England. So attacks is out of the question, I'm getting tickets! Finally, football is coming home for me too, say Liam. 

-Just beacuse I like to blow shit up, doesn't mean I can't keep it together for a few hours, as in getting drunk with thousands of other guys while screaming and yelling at the players. It's what I do anyway, I think I can do it without weapons too. I'm going rogue!

It's part of the guns for beer program, a rehabilitation clinic in London who treat returning terrorists and the occational local nutcase. -It's all about changing crazy behavior. Find something more legal. There should be clubs for former terrorists, like there is for the former working classes. Who's common these days?, asks doctor Strangebomb.


Photo Kris
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