Getting Aids Was Awesome

Clear and pleasant danger. -Living with it is another thing, but getting it was so much better than my boyfriend, tells Hilda.

-If he could do that I would never get it, but as long as he performs at the level he does, the danger is always present. All women face this.

-The guy who gave it to me was as bad a match for me as the disease itself. He was from Jamaica, me from Germany, neither of us spoke the same language. I could never live with him, but now I do. Having Aids is much like still having that guy in my body.

-Truth is I would get it again if I could. And I did. You should have seen the face of my GP "you got Aids again?!". "You whore!" I had to correct him on that. I didn't receive money. But I understood what he meant. If I could I would.

Photo Tetra Pak

Catherine Reads Between The Pictures To find A Deeper Meaning

Toiletpaper. -I'm a business woman so I need to be informed about whats goes on in the world. I can't rely on my male colleague's cause they only watch the photos. They flip through it like a family album.

-I'm surprised so many of these stories are written by men cause so few of them seem to read these days.

-It's like they all forgot how to do it overnight when the iPad came. At least thats how they behave. I'm amazed some of them can still put together a text message. It' a lot of words to remember for a guy who hardly use them.

-We have to simplify the English language otherwise we will soon get a male population who can't read or write. The number of words has to be reduced to at least half by 2020. Our culture is at stake here.

-If we don't acknowledge that men wont be able to write their own name in 5 years our culture will disavow. Who wants to admit they don't understand anything?

-But we have the technology to save us. Ironically, it's the same touchscreen technology who caused the problem, much like writing itself killed off the oral tradition.

-Wow, we have gone full circle, it's back to pointing now. So much development for so little progress. It's insights like this that makes me realise Britain never stopped being a development country. And I traveled all the way from Pakistan to understand that.

-I thought "we are all the same" meant we are all great - not poor. Damn! I want to see my Grandma.

Photo VirginMoney 

Journalist Joe Only Care About The Story If He Get His Feet In It

Footloose. -I try to squeeze my feet in at any opportunity. In most cases they want my face... or nothing at all. It's a real face/off every time. If I got a hot story I can force them in, but with a bad one I got to kiss the editors feet not to get sacked.

-I'm a foot fetistist so for me the kissing part is okay. He doesn't understand that. Only feetmasochists do. We like it. 90 percent of the worlds speeding is done by sadofeetisists cause we like to step on it.

Photo jsmjr

Mexico Is Terrorists Favourite Holiday Destination

War versus war. -Bombs explode around us and people get killed, it feels like home, but I don't have to deal with it. It's not my war. I can sit in the dark and enjoy my tequila, says Ali.

-It's fun to watch the war on drugs. As a terrorist I can tell you, these douchebags have no idea what their doing.

-It's obvious from the line of business their inn. In any other professional, if your do drugs, you'll screw up. These people doesn't do anything but drugs. It's all they do. 60.000+ dead people speaks for itself. They should have won by now.

-They should have conquered the whole bloody continent. But, it's not my battle. I'm here to take a break. Get away from it all. Recharge my batteries before I go home and kill some more. It's a funny world we live in. One man's death is another man's break.

Photo iivangm

Baghdad Offer Designated Parking Spaces For Car Bombs

This Gentleman gets a ticket for using a bomb parking without proper
permit. On a closer look he doesn't even have explosives under the hood.

People bomber. Every embassy, public building and shopping centre will in addition to free handicap parking offer designated spaces for car bombs. 

-It's getting out of hand. There's so many we have to offer bomb parking. We have to keep up with the way our society develop announces traffic controller Ali Drive.

-I mean, It's keeping out of touch who got us here in the first place. Let's adjust. That's all I'm saying. Let's try to keep up with the times for once. How hard can it be? My f@*# children manages to keep up with the Kardashians...

-Nobody likes handicapped people for the free parking either, but that little extra room enables them to take part in society. If we give auto bombers the extra space they need to show the world "Hey! I'm strong and powerful, don't mess with me or I *#@& you up" less people could get hurt and we didn't have to arrest them all the time.

Photo The U.S. Army

Hezbollah Builds United Terrorist Headquarter Next To The UN Building

New York minute. -We need to get organised. We can't continue fighting this beast with cheesecake and firecrackers. It's not as easy for us to infiltrate the Pentagon as it is for them to infiltrate a cave, says Hezbollah's press secretary.

-We don't have the gun power or men necessary to scare anything more than a Mayor. Locating ourself next to our enemy is our only hope. The United Terrorist building can be used for plane crashes, false alarms... the things we do.

Photo Zingaro. I am a gipsy too.

Syria Will Probably Never Get The Olympics

Waria. Even when promising not to use chemical weapons, IOC still refuse Assad to host the games.

-A hundred years ago he could. Syria had the quality we looked for then, safe bribery, says IOC-digger Toni Belarado.

-Who wants to receive gifts from Assad today? I'm not risking my IOC membership for the worlds most wanted dictator. 

-I'm not risking ending up on CIA's terrorist list. Besides, IOC also have to think about the safety of the athlete's, the audience and the broadcasting deals. That's where the real money is.

-If there was any, they could get the Autumn Games, tops.

-The Assad regime is a natural destination for a terrorist game. If they could manage to organise anything else than car bombings… but I think their stuck with car bombings.

Photo hjalmarGD