Michelle Is Getting It Tonight

The American Dream

3 times a lady. Election night is falling over the White House. Obama has not confirmed but close sources and the entire nation know Michelle is getting it tonight.

Secret Service has turned of the surveillance equipment tonight and the President is scheduled for a late start tomorrow.

Photo Tom Lohdan

Mitt Romney Got Cockblocked By Obama

Godbama. -I`m not giving away the White House keys yet, I`m not done, says Obama in a powertrip talk to his crew off camera.

-Mitt can be my secretary off defeated rivals. It`s a few of them by now. They need nurturing like the war vets.

-He could be my minister of agriculture cause he`s so god damn old. Plus mormons know a lot about that stuff, but seriously he should get the business department, If his ego allowed him to work for me.

Something tells me he`s not ready to be my bitch yet. He based his whole campaign on getting that nigga out of here. Poor boy.

Photo ProgressOhio

Dude Already Forgot Mitt Romneys Name

Mayfly. -Now, what was his name again? That mormon man... something on M... no, I forgot. Celebrities come and go, says US Dude.

-You can`t expect me to remember the name of every one hit wonder. I have difficulties enough remembering their lyrics, uh... message. It was something like blah blah blah blah.

 Photo valli_mark

Romney Looks At The Prospects Of Being A Used Car Salesman

-I`d like a future with that.

The tongue. -I`m not overwhelmed by it, no I`m not. not at all. In fact I`m appalled by it. But a salesman got to do what a salesman got to do. I could probably get Rent a Wreck into the major league amont rental car companies.

-I could also buy up a chain of pawnbrokers and turn it into fine wine stores selling the same shit. I can sell horseshit as pork or porkshit as beef.

-I could also get a job at McDonalds. I could get a job as a mormon.

-I could get caught trying to kill Obama in Presidential envy. I could join the boy scouts and start all over again. I could follow in Michael Jacksons footsteps, but that is not a good idea.

 Photo katherinecresto

Voter Killed Himself After Watching A String Of Negative Campaign Ads

RIP TV. After two hour of ads breaking into the programming every 15 minutes Brad was convinced both candidates would bring the nation to hell. In his farewell note he wrote it doesn`t matter who won. USA will blow up tomorrow anyway.

Psychiatrists says this reaction is normal and that their surprised not more people has killed themselves. Especially among 18-100 who can vote and watch a lot of tv. -We thought maybe the world population would drop by 10% since so few of them get to vote in this election. It would certainly hurt me, says Franco the psychiatrist.

-We where kinda hoping for a bost in medicine sales, not officially, off course. This kind of fear mongering can bring down whole nations. It`s not god for anything except us. And we don`t even have to endorse it. There`s no superpack, no campaign contributions. It`s pure profit, baby.

Photo dsb nola

Donald Trump Desperately Tries To Convince Voters Obama Is A Terrorist By Not Finding Out

I`m fired. -The answer is the question my friend, says Donald Triumphant to whoever still listens to the old prick.

-I got my men looking into this. My men as in gay lovers. There`s a lot of male gold diggers out there desperat to do whatever to get their hands on some money. I don`t see the harm in abusing that against them, as long as their not terrorist muslims with a secret agenda to blow up America.

-They do everything the woman do and less. I`m not into the man on man or mano-a-mano thing, even dough I wear Armani. I prefer women and I hate it when my men overdo it. Then I mean my men as in mountain swallowers or money fuckers. God I hate it, but I understand it. I would have done the same if I wear in their position. I know where they come from. I worked my way up the chain too.

-I`m not surprised about the rumors Obama killed Kennedy cause I set them out. But to be sure I set my men to investigate further and they found some revealing facts. I would make a better president than Obama and Mitt Romney. True story. And I have an impressive dick. Every hooker in Vegas can confirm.

Photo Gage Skidmore

The World Has Agreed To Install Obama If Romney Wins

-We will probably use unecessary brutal force to complete the mission,
you know, for old times sake, says Put. 

Powervote. The United Nations, the African Union and the Asian Whatever has come to the conclusion the world will invade United States Of America and reinstall Obama in the White House if the American people choose Romney.

-Somebody has to tell them whats best for them. We like Obama, we like what he has done and we want him to continue that, says Vladimir Putin. -On behalf of all the other schmucks who lacks the balls to say it out loud. The Russian troops will bomb USA from the minute the result is wrong.

-Even the Syrians agree Obama is a better choice. They know whats coming if Romney gets the army. Total mayhem. We like weak America and we prefer weak America to continue. To our understanding it is best Bama continues. We don`t want to risk Romney actually succeed at getting the economy going.

 Photo maiak.info