USA Sells Out

-Yes, we are acctually putting the whole country on sale. Highest bidder gets it. It includes a mortgage in China, but other than that it comes with plenty off cool stuff. Nukes, people of all kind, shape and sizes, awesome cities and plenty of land. It's a bargain, says country estate dealer Johnny Badstone.

-The adds will run in USA Today from Friday. Cash only. No credit cards. Place you bids ladies and dictators!

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Most Humans Still Alive Half Way Through Trumps Presidency

-Humanity will survie Trump, says Ali Baba junior, he got less than 2 years left, there's not enough time to kill 7 billion people. ...