Get Away Car Driver Never Use Home Delivery

 It's about honor


-I never use the Post Office and certainly not email, sms, phone calls.. you know, anything that leaves a trail. If you want to catch me, you got to find me, says Dick Johnson, or Ridiculous Johnson on the streets. 

The downside is that potential employees can't find him either, so he's kinda stuck in this limbo of looking for work, but not being able to leave contact details. -Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous, but if I'm
going to rob a bank successfully, I can't give my whereabouts away. 

Dick can't remember last time he did a "job" cause he's never acctually done one. -It's a tough business to get into, not to say work your way up in. Financially I got to rob a bank to be able to stay in the game. 

The thought of going solo has crossed his mind over the years, that and taking the driving license and fixing up the car and get some new tires. -But then I got to rob a bank, so I'm waiting to see what happens. Like a stake out. Which is not that different from the real thing. 


Broke Covid Rule: Accused of Mass Murder

 Killing Grandma!


Bombay, India. A total of 500 young adults in the Indian megacity went nuts in an underground party at a skyscraper downtown. The Police recieved concerned calls from the public in what they though was a local earth quake. 

-The building was shaking. So we evacuated the area and wow, did we get a surprise went our task force entered the building. We had to do something drastic to change the game, says Mumbai City Police media relations officer Kiran Parashar. 

-We have lots of money, we are contected, why should we not do this? says Sonia Mehra, member of the ultra rich elite who practically own Mumbai. Well.., that was the thinking before hell broke loose. Now it's all about making sure this never comes to trial. 


Photo Bashkar

Everyone Leaves When Leo Farts

-He's an animal in bed!


Townsville, Australia. We have fart exits in every room, it's like living in a firestation, with a pyroman loose in town. You never get a full night's sleep. We might have to put the cat to sleep, but that would be unfair, then he gets to sleep, says Charlotte, who is married to Noah and have 2 children together, plus 8 from 3 previous marriages.

-The cat came with the house, it's an abandoned old Queenslander in a runned down neighbourhood. Nobody came close to the house, people took detours to avoid the stank, when we found out it was the cat, we thought, we're not pussies are we? It turned out we where.

With the house for free, the family of 12 finally got a roof over their heads. -We used to live in the bush, just outside town, it was too humiliating to live in the streets, but when we lost Lucas to the rats, we had to do something, without getting caught of second degree murder, of course, for the second time...


Photo LeFrolin

Builds Public Toilet Where Trump Held a Speech

 And encourage others to do the same!


-I even tell people to find out where he most likely will be buried and start pissing. Give him a warm welcome! says Bob the plumber who has been seriously ashamed of being a Republican for the last 5 years. It has felt like when my wife caught me with her dentist everyday. I got such a headache. 

Trump Toilets are so in sync with what Trump stood for because he was so full of shit. The toilets must have been packed wherever he spoke. Can you believe it? The crowds took in all that shit. Time in and time out. It was like a shit machine. So much shit flying around nobody noticed when it hit the fan. 

The Trump Toilets will be free to use and drug addicts are welcome to shoot their needles in our booths. Our doors are also open for homeless people. Every one who got their life kicked in by that son of a bitch can come and pay their disrespect for free!


Astronaut Fired: Was Too Down To Earth

Chill... 


Binge-watching Friends in space might have been the drop that made Control terminate the mission. -We're not sending astronauts in space to bond. They got a job to do and it's nota  8-5 situation, it's a 24-7-365 non-stop no questions asked, thank you.

The astronaut, who's known for throwing great parties, both on earth and in space, says in a party invitation in the International Space Station this Saturday that Command has no jurisdiction in space and that he has prepared the event carefully. -All the weed is grown in space. 

However, he do admitt he likes a bit of danger. -I have experimented and synthesized well known earth drugs and made new mutant space editions. I really look forward to trying them this weekend. I think it's going to be a blast.

-And if I don't make it in time to work Monday morning, cause my space hangover has gone galaxtic, who cares, we don't follow earth time here. It's space, bitch!


Space Photo Ricky Arnold NASA

Baby Hitler Was Obsessed With Having His Picture Taken

This is my evil side!

He was a cute little ambitious motherfu#@*ker. He served in World War one and started the second. Considering the starting point, he really rose to the occasion.  Everybody deserves a second chance, but not a second war!

One baby really can make a change. Thank God he didn't live to start a third one. Even though baby Hitlers shoes aren't large to fill, many has tried, but failed. 

The reason they go wrong is their feet are too big. The whole concept with Hitler is he got it all wrong, as in ALL!!!!!!! To start a World War you need things to go wrong in biblical proportions. Shoes that are too big is the only way to get every step wrong. Your whole life.

Few have been close, he really did it his way...

Photo Public Domain

Plans To Establish Al-Qaeda On Mars Is Underway

Feels like home

-Excatly how we're going to do it is still up in space, but we are working on it. Our tech guy just draw a plan with a stick that was very impressive, say head of Al-Qaeda's Heaven division. 

-We need to learn more about Mars, but from the pictures we have seen it looks well suited for us. If we're lucky we might even find unintelligent life there, like here on earth.

-Allah created the universe, so we see it as our duty to make sure it stays that way, that no infidel come back and tells us othervise, but how on mars are we going to pull that off? We have enough trouble as it is staying alive on this planet.

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