Steve Jobs says it will not rain information from the iCloud

iGod. -It`s leakproof, says Jobs. Instead of staying in balance with suck and release technology like a regular cloud, our will get bigger and bigger until, literally, the sky falls down. I`m kidding you. When the sky is full it will continue out in space. There should be enough space there, he he.

-Having your information floating around is the safest way to store it cause nobody can reach it, not even us.

Photo ellhoisa

Sepp Blatter new dictator in FIFA

The emperor's new balls. United Nations security council holds an emergency meeting about the FIFA election. -Their currently discussing which asshole list to put him on, says a UN diplomat. The French seems to be okay with him and suggests the bad kitty list whereas Greece, who is not a member of the Security Council, wants him dead. When asked how the hell did they get into the Security Council, the Greeks say they just want him dead.
 
Photo AsianFC

YouToo

3 billion daily youers. -We admit that we have more viewers than just you, said the spokeswoman on the YouTube press conference. -It`s you too, then there`s you, you, you and you. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you...

In fact, it`s so many the spokeswoman gave up and video shared it instead.

Photo webtreats

Intimate technology

Inside computer. Soon computer will be fluid. Instead of watching it you can drink it. You don`t have to press a button, just think it.

Nobody will listen to music in the future, they will feel it instead. Same with movies, they want to be inn the film. Whats great about this technology is that you can do exactly the same as you would anyway if you didn`t have it.

Photo turkletom

Berlusconi sent to the international love court for crimes against marriage

Sex child. According to the indictment, Berlusconi had countless affairs with other women while married. -He pledged guilty, but not guilty and shows no sign of regret. He behave like he`s on a date in court. I guess he doesn`t see the difference since their both in his pants, says WMA reporter Nasty Digger.

His party, Fcuk Italy, has been his base for conquering women and votes. For every women, he get votes from men who wish they could do the same. He becomes a way for them to live out their dream. Sadly for Italy, there are enough men like that to give him majority.

What his voters doesn`t realize is that they vote on the guy who took their women. In reality, it`s Berlusconi who live their dream.

Photo torre.elena

US impose aging ban at airports

Old detector. -Growing old is bad for your health. It`s deadly if you do too much of it. Therefor passengers are not allowed to get any older in our airports, says United States Health Minister.

-It`s still legal to get older at home, but in public it`s getting harder and harder to find places to age, cafe`s wont let us breathe and libraries shuts the door says Rahmond, 86.  It`s coming to the points where our only option is growing old dreadfully.

Photo gliuoo

Acropolis before they teared it down

Time heals all lies. -It was good for business. People didn`t care about it when it was here. And it wasn`t as fancy as the myths. We had the option to either rebuild it or tear it down. We ended up doing noting. We where too lazy, says the old Greek. Years went by and the place looked dodgy. We organized some people to do maintenance, but they never came.

-It was when the insurance claim came we sat down to create the myth. Cameras where still hard to find in those days, all we needed to prove our scam was drawings and some bogus stories.

-I heard the dinosaur people was up to something similar. They where opening a museum and had their merchandising screwed up by this lunatic designer. But it sold like crazy. In fact the exhibition was so boring everybody went to the gift shop. Then one of the guys went "Let`s redo this" and next thing you know an archaeolog with money problems goes along with finding these "huge skeletons".

-The fraud brokers behind the finance crisis seems to be the only ones who learned anything from our history.

Photo MattJP