Bob And Ann Both Agree The 70s Looked Better In The 70s

Real-time travel. -Back then athletes used drugs to make their hair look good. There was no money in sports then you know, it was all about style, says Bob.

-Kids these days are so busy with their gadgets they forget about their hair. It's weird how the focus change. Put on a musical and name it Hair today, can you believe that? A musical? We went to see musicals?! Musicals?!!!! says Ann.

-I got to fart. Let's go.

 Photo MissChatter

Superman Uses Superman Aftershave

Scent of a Hero. Clark Kent, not to be mistake for Barbie Ken, reveals in Doppelganger Magazine that Superman has his own cologne.

-He says it's important to smell great when he saves the world, otherwise he might mistaken for the bad guy.

-He always shave and comb his hair before he flies out on a rescue mission. There's so many cameras now, he has to look good all the time - even when he's fighting. That's why  he brings an action make up kit. It can fix everything within the blink of a flash.

-Chicks digg it.

Photo Warner Brothers

Disco Pope Declare Free Love And Sex For Everyone

-Let's boogie!

Hit it! -Jesus wasn't gay, but I'm more unsure about some of his followers. There obviously got to be a few fruities there. Follow a man 24/7 365 for years?! These people had no lives.

-If they wasn't gay before they saw Jesus, they definitely must have becomed it when they meet him. He was a charmer you know. Definitely a gay alerter.

-Thats where this whole gay ban came from. The church leaders at the time was afraid Jesus would turn the Catholic Church into a gay sex club. They could loose half their membership base. But we have lost half our membership base now, so I say, fuck it. Let the bitches in. We need them now. We ned all the gay *&%@ we can find.

Photo chilangoco

Putin Wrestles A Bear

Mixed Spieces Arts (MSA). -We popped by the woods on our way to Saint Petersburg. Putin knows of a couple of good bear spots from his KGB days, says Karlow, Putins pilot.

-As soon we reached the ground Putin jumped off right onto the bear and forced him to the ground. Broke his neck and jumped back on the chopper. It's brutal. It's like watching MMA.

-We made 3 fight stops. Putin had a morning meeting with the mayor of Saint Petersburg so there was no time to go crazy.

Photo Dave Proffer

Rosie And Jack Love To Horse Around

Animalistic. -We put on our serious face and walk around as humans to see who can keep it up the longest.

-Rosie always gets me. After two rounds looking like idiots I can't hold it anymore. I crack up, says Jack.

-We took on our sunglasses once and went to the village. You should have seen those faces.

-A horse would never show this to humans, because we prefer to run when your'e around, but it's the most awesome move ever; the moonwalk.

Photo Douglas J O'Brien

Dubai Cancel The Violence Against Women Championships

Islamic Games. The national beat rape cup will go on, but the Commonhate Nations will not meet in Dubai this year for their annual gender racist game.

-It's a game best played in the dark. With so much of the worlds attention directed at Dubai it's hard to follow the rules.

-The games will continue, but the new host nation will be kept secret until the winner is announced.

-The United Arab Emirates can't both be a tax heaven and a violence heaven. We have to choose and we have chosen money.

-We are quite frankly afraid the international contesters will never, says Dubai spokesman.

Photo Waters technology

It's A King!

Royal All Mighty! The Duchess of Cambridge gave birth to a baby King 4.28 pm today. He is in good conditions, but to young to rule, says the obstetricians at St Mary's Hospital.

-He only weights 8lb 6oz and needs to grow up first and we strongly recommend a decade or two practising the Kingdom.

Boxing promotor Mike Tyson agrees with the medical staff that 8lb 6oz is too light to rule the world. -He needs to put on weight to have some impact, but he doesn't have to grow up. I strongly disagree there.

-The wiser he gets the less we'll see of him. He needs to stay childish to have a chance in modern celebrity culture. Otherwise he will be outnumbered by reality stars.

Photo graziano88