Gun Control Is Nowhere Near As Important As Pool Control

Waiting like an Aligator for it`s prey.

Dead pools society. Water is far more deadly than bullets. 400.000 people die from the innocent looking liquid every year. And there is nobody to blame. There is no water pistol to ban. But there is one thing we can do. Pool control.

Guards armed with swim wests should patrol all school pools and public bath houses and every pool owner should qualify for a pool license and have to pass the test every 6 months to keep pool loaded with water.

Why didn`t the US military think of using water when they invaded Afghanistan. Why didn`t Hitler think of it when it`s that deadly. There is oceans available here.

Photo somma1977

First The Pope, Then Thatcher... 2-0 To Argentina

Kim Jong Un send his treats, "How dare you take the focus
away from me".

Don`t cry for me Argentina. They won`t. Not for that old hag.

Buenos Arians doesn`t ask whether the Iron Lady was a hero or villain. -She was a bitch, a queen bitch, she f@#ked us over, says Tango man.

-I would never sleep with her. She was the anti Evita. Let Madonna portrait her. Ugh! Puta madre!

Photo jikatu

America Will Always Be Number One As Long As It Stays Number One

Only in China. Psychologists all over the states prepare the population for the national humiliation is will be to be overrun by a dictatorship who trash everything America stand for.

-They don`t care about our freedom, they don`t value our system at all, says Washington insider.

-Second best have never been a figure of speech here. It`s always bigger, better, faster. We have to create a dictatorship to keep using these slogans. Words come with a meaning in a democracy.

Photo Public domain image

Kim Jong Un`s Wife Says He`s Got A Bugger Up His Nose

Palace grill. -I`ve never seen him this angry. I do everything I can to calm him down. I give him head at night, when he`s asleep, he`s dreams can`t be healthy.

-I`m there 24/7. If I can avoid a war... I`ll do it. His mother did, then I can. But if he starts getting at other girls, like his dad... his days are numbered.

Photo MIKI Yoshihito

Insurance Company Don`t Buy Hit By Bus Claim

Lol. Not even with the photo proof that Singapore Times refused to publish cause of the lack of believability.

-The insurance company requested a huge add campaign the same day so we though about it really hard for about 1 second, says Jaden.

-Then we discussed pro and cons over a nice dinner at the Ritz and continued the conversation at a strip club.

-After we all woke up the next day in hotel rooms with everything paid for we decided to screw that Insurance company and order an arrest for extortion.

-Then we hired thugs to beat up the guy who claimed to be hit by a bus. It turned out he was pretty beaten already so we finished him and the company with negative attack journalism. The guy "killed himself" the company went bankrupt, we bought it, wrote nicely about it, sold it to ourself with a huge "loss" and filed it as charity.

-That`s how you fill in your tax return in Singapore.

Photo Wootang01

Rich People Run Out Of Tax Heavens

Shady business. But why seek out the best places under the sun when what they do can`t stand the light of day?

It`s an oxymoron pr definition. The North Pole is a far better place to hide, but who wants to go there when their loaded?

-In the end I guess it`s the running away. As in hey, I made it and then take off. Not to go somewhere, but to make it clear the others can`t come, says richer than Nielsen.

-Then, over a few years, you realize their never going to make it. It`s getting quite lonely and that drains on you, but your too proud to cash out.

-I can go back anytime. But that also mean I`ll look like a fool. I did all that for nothing? Just so I could return to the life I had before I got rich? You know, the whole illusion of tax heaven is not for me, it`s for those who never get there - so I can live with myself!

Photo kiryna

How Can Cycling Still Be Popular When Nearly Everyone Got Caught?

Tour de Fake. And what does that say about us? Thats a question nobody wants to answer, which is why they keep on cycling. -Hopefully people will get tired of asking it in time for Tour de France, says sports commentator Frank Jackson.

-We all knew didn`t me. It`s not like it was such a huge surprise. I was more surprised that we where surprised.

-I mean, their doing it right in front of us. It`s not like their try to hide it.

 RobinEllisActor