The Hunchback of Notre-Dame Out Of Work

-This is the first time since the 15th century I haven't had a job, I'm not sure how the job market will react to my skillset, so much has changed in the last 600 years, you all got those digital things nowadays.., says Quasimodo.

-It looks like I'll have to hit the doll for a few years until they build it up.


Photo LeLaisserPasserA38

Easter Bunny Killed By Landmine

-It was not a pretty sight, says witnesses who saw the bunny explode. -He seemed so happy, then kaboom! At least he went out with a bang!

Parents WMA has talked with say that however bad it looks, their kids kinda expected something like this would happen, so their not worried about telling them. Their gonna ask, did you film it?


Photo Dennis Larsen

Fixed 737 Max 8 With Duck Tape

-I always keep a roll handy, I fly like a manic, so I always need to fix something in air. Sometimes I use it on passengers to, if I see someone is getting airsick I tape their mouth.

-I even taped a guys ass once, he was farting like a pig..., says Captain Soon Tobefired-Bigtime.


Photo StockSnap

ISIS Warrior Has To Go Back To Being A Looser

He was promised a leadership job in the Islamic state with competitive salary. He was looking forward to finally earning millions of dollars.

He only made a few lousy bucks washing floors in a hopping centre that was about to be closed, but he could continue the American dream in the caliphate and work his way up, until it collapsed and made him a no paid prison toilet cleaner.


Photo Beacon of Hope 

The Leader of 0.02% of the Human Population Wants Us To Believe He Can Kill Anybody On Earth With His Rockets

Anyone, anytime, with the touch of a button, thats his salespitch to the world, and to back it up he's made slick Hollywood animation videos where computer animated submarines send animated rockets  into the sky.

Accompanied by a narrator who tells us they can reach the whole world within hours.

Wow, what a bunch of crap.


Photo Dimitro Sevastopol

China Buys Europe

Tired of humans rights and copyrights laws, the Asian giant figured out it's better to buy them out. -We already make everything they need, lets take the last step, says Chinas real estate agent Sun.

-Look, Europeans move their factories to China, let us buy Europe so Europeans can keep their factories in Europe.

-It's a good offer, another option is war, and we both know China wins. We can afford to loose one billion people, you don't even have one billion people, so it would be a wise choice to take our offer before we change our minds.


Photo Joseph

Melania Takes Out Divorce, Sick Of Trump

Melania Trump is reportedly sick of her husbands behaviour and has filed for divorce. Trump tried to talk her into continuing as a second lady, but negotiations fell through. She wants half.

According to White House rumours, Trump offered her Canada instead and threw in Mexico to shut her up, but Melania turns out to be a better dealmaker than her husband.

She can literary travel back to Eastern Europe with Eastern USA in her suitcase. That's a First Lady!


Photo The White House