Amy Winehouse took a trip to the other side

Last ecstasy. The singers travel agent confirms that she booked a one way ticket and that she did not plan any come back soon. Despite her many attempt journeys to the other side, her friends, family or management always persuade her into buying a return ticket. Or she simply missed the plane, but not this time. She arrived right on time... She will be missed.

Photo raymaclean

Norway has killed the terrorist about 2000 times

The most dead terrorist ever. Unofficial sources say the scheduled questioning tomorrow has to be postponed cause the police is not finished killing the guy. They say he has to die at least another 10.000 times before he faces the judge. If he ever will.

Right now their force feeding him like a chicken with dynamite. Thats what his prison food consists of. Highly carbonated explosives. And for dinner they jam a torpedo down his throat. Apparently now he`s more dead than bin Laden. You understand he needs some time to recover before questioning.

 Photo ssoosay

Norway to reissue death penality and seriously kill this motherfucker

Dead terrorist. The terrorist who exploded a bomb downtown Oslo and gunned down close to a hundred people at Utøya has been caught and will according to rumors seriously die. -We`re going to kill him many times, says a government insider. In fact we`re going to kill him one time for every person he killed. Then we`ll damage his body as much as he damaged those who survived and then we`ll blow him up for terrorist to see.

Photo johsgrd

Norway is still standing

The government remains. Norway`s war minister issued the following statement after the terror attack in Oslo:

To whom it may concern


You just fucked with the wrong people. We will hunt you down and shove a fucking nuclear bomb up your ass.

Photo Eric

China caught trying to eat Japan

One world, one plate. -We thought it was another earthquake or at least a  tsunami, says a food witness. Who could have guessed it was the Chinese? You just don`t prepare for that, neither physically or mentally.

-Thank god they still use chopsticks, can you imagine the damage if they all had knifes and forks? It would have been nothing left! They ate everything. My food, the fridge, my family pictures, my house... they even ate the car.

-One guy up on the hill filmed all of it. He threatened to upload it on youtube if they didn`t stop. Then they ate his camera and all other cameras and iPhones in miles distance before they left. It`s their tactic. To go in to devastated areas and do serious damage nobody can imagine in their wildest dreams. That`s how they get away with it.

Photo Kordian

Murdoch in an open interview with WMA: "I should have been a dictator first. Working my way up from nothing... what was I thinking?".

Emperor's new news. -Nobody messes with Putin or Berlusconi, says the media mogul. It`s not fair. Except for all the headline money I make on this phone hacking scandal. I probably cash inn more than I ever could on BskyB. And besides, I`m sick of everybody else taking the limelight. I want some headlines too. Have you meet my wife?

-When this scandal is over we`re releasing a sex tape on the web. That ought to get sales up. We`ll do the talk show tour, maybe an advertising campaign for viagra. We`ll see. I own the news. I can do whatever I want!!!

Photo david_shankbone

Bomb flakes

Breakfast funeral. The people at Kellogg`s has been real busy coming up with a breakfast cereal who will appeal to hardcore anti-Americans. -We want to capitalize on the hate, suicide bombing has been a trend for quite some time now and finally our marketing department found a way to cash in on it: We made it really crispy. It explodes in your mouth, says head at stupid.

-The slogan to our advertising campaign is "Blow up your family". Family first, right? And we swopped the Kellogg rooster on the carton with a ticking bomb to make it more appealing to young jihads. This is gonna be a killer at the market!

Photo theimpulsivebuy