The Rich Celebrate White Friday on Black Friday

-We celebrate that we don't need to buy cheap inexpensive goods. We can buy whatever we want, whenever we want. No questions asked, says Richie Godman.

-Everyday is Black Friday to us, so White Friday, thats the one day we get together at the riviera and laugh at all the other people who got a tiny little window to shop what they desperatly need.

Black Friday is a selfhelp day for the poor masses, it's how we avoid giving aid. Without Black Friday I would have to share my wealth with these people and there's no way I'm doing that. Thats why we arrange Black Friday. Let the poor do the work themselves... ha ha!


Photo Hans

Most Joked About In History

Acording to NSA 400 trillion Trump jokes have been told since he entered the world stage. Thats a staggering 172 million jokes a second and a world record. More people laugh at him than Chaplin.

-It will probably never be beaten, says NSA analysts Francisca Hiding. The whole world is laughing at him. It doesn't happen that often. And never for that long.

People have laughed non stop at this guy for 4 years now. No moviestar in history has shown staying power like that. It's ridiculous.


Photo The White House

Climate Change Deniers Want Age Limit in the UN Building

-We don't want to be told how to live our life by teenangers, especially not retarded onces, says George Coolio in the comment section on haters online.

-Thee's enough dummies among the adults.


Photo Praytino 

Boris Johnson to Wrestle Donald Trump in the White House

"You'd better be there". "I live there, bonzo".

As negotiations fell through between the two nations, Boris Johnson and Donald Trump decided to lay it all on the floor and wrestle for it. Whoever wins gets it all.

Mudwrestling and boxing where also considered along with cagefighting and Muay Thai, but since both men are best at showmanship, wrestling felt like the natural choice.

If Boris loose USA gets UK back and if Donald loose, UK gets France. The match will take place Sunday, September 5th, 2020.


Photo The White House

Most Humans Still Alive Half Way Through Trumps Presidency

-Humanity will survie Trump, says Ali Baba junior, he got less than 2 years left, there's not enough time to kill 7 billion people. It took the Nazis 5 years to kill 6 million jews.

Ali Baba junior says he got the enlightenment when he looked into a beer glass.

-It was Trump beer. The guy is too busy making money, he would't kill potential consumers, no matter how much he hates them. although I would like to see a settlement of humans on Mars, just as a precaution, you never know with this guy.

Photo by WikiLmages

Earth Melts Ice To Cool Down

In the latest interview with Paranoid Times, earth says it's just putting a few ice cubes in the drinks, who will be served to intergalactic monsters, so please do no worry about global warming, enjoy the time you have left before you are eaten by the biggest monsters in space.

Photo by Taken from Pixabay

Mysteriously Few Grey Haired Leaders In China

What is it with Chinese leaders, they look so perfect. It's like their all hair models.

Where did the West go wrong? Was pollution a good thing? Did it make the Chinese strong? Or is it colouring their hair? Keeping it smooth and strong?

When you compare with American leaders, they turn either grey, white or bold. It's why it's called the White House, by the time your done, you've aged...

The White House could have been named the Grey House or the Bold House, but not the Black House, turning black doesn't provide the same privileges in America as in China.


Photo Voice Of America