African Union Proud To Be Bugged By China

The African Union says in a statement that this shows the world its Africa that matters. "The Chinese are not interested in Brexit, in the European Union, in Trump or America, it's us they focus on.

We have waited for this moment a long time. By 2050 there will be 2 billion Africans on this continent. It's an illusion that China will take over the world after USA.

It will be us who sets the world agenda and we understand their frustration, cause we surveil them too, but we don't get caught..."

Flag African Union

Polar Bear Broke Into Home, Ate The Food And Used The Toilet

The residents in Novaya Zemlya in Russia are horrified by the invasion of 50 polar bears in their neighbourhood, but also impressed by their behaviour.

-The bear flushed! I'm not used to that... my husband never does. If this keeps up I might get myself a polar bear, says Tatiana Ivakina.


Photo robynm

Nuclear War Looks Great In Space!

-If we decide to go out with a bang, at least it will be a head turner around the Universe, kinda like a blond in space, it will raise some eyebrows, says retired Nasa astronaut Billy "the Kid".

-With the current atom bomb/dictator situation it can happen any day now. This is our exit point. This is where humans blow up the planet.

-We had a good run. We where this close to escape before the big local bang. Dam-it, a few more hundred years and we could have all left earth before our dictators blew it up.

-Why is technology both the solution and the problem? Because when the solution is the problem, the problem is not the solution. We are doomed to do this, it's our destiny.

-Think about it, why else equip monkeys with smartbrains?

 -If you put a monkey infront of a keyboard, soner or later he will write a sentence. Same goes for us. Put us on the planet, soner or later we will blow it up.

Photo skeeze

Putin Got Nothing To Fear Cause Nobody Wants Russia

-Nobody in their right mind will invade a bunch of crap. Hitler was a maniac, laughs former Sovjet Union citizen, now NATO spindoctor Mindaugas Garbys.

-The Russian army is completely unnecessary. Nobody wants to invade a bunch of corrupt oligarchs who holds millions of poor people hostage. Who wants to deal with that?!

-No, we help them to escape, by offering them Nato membership. Thats how we beat them.

Photo Nato

Pope Travels To The Moon!!!

-I am deeply concerned about whats happening on our planet and I'm going to heaven to seek advice from God, says the Pope.

-God received my preyers from the Vatican last week and agreed to meet me on the dark side of the moon. The meeting is scheduled to last 15 minutes.

God doesn't want to ruin people's faith. So the meeting will not be televised. -Belief is of absolute importance, without that, there is no hope. Without hope, humanity is doomed. Therefore God will not reveal herself.

Photo Comfreak

Amazon To Open It's First Production Plant In The Amazon

The internet giant is coming home! Indigenous people celebrate by throwing spears and firing arrows at the building site.

-Their so full of energy, says a representative from the Corruption Party, who is always in power in Brazil. We might have to put the down.

Photo pioordozgoith

Cut For Quality, Not Unlike Western Media

It's bad times for quality journalism. Journalists are laid off world wide, like Jamal Khashoggi who was both sacrificed and killed. They fire people differently in Saudi Arabia, it's the same thing, only different.

Photo Alfaigh