Obama`s new slogan: CRIME

The prince of darkness

Yes, we crime. After 4 years of running USA it got pretty clear for Obama that Americans don`t want to play by the rules.

They want to cheat on their taxes, they don`t want to help their homeless neighbor. They want to sit infront of the tv, eat garbage and shut out the outside world.

Slogans like "more of the same" or "need more time" would be disastrous according to Inside analytics.

To get the headlines Obama is turning over to the dark side. -It`s the prison vote who will decide this election. There`s so many Americans behind bars they outnumber any other interest group.

-Besides, crime is sexy, I automatically get the women`s vote. Now they can live out their teenage gangsta fantasies voting for me.

 Photo oporder

Gaza celebrates 65 years of pure madness

Nuclear solution. -We`re throwing the party in a tent incase someone bombs it. Then we don`t have to worry about rebuilding it, says mixed race operator
 Hebrew Ali.

Photo Kecko

Creating communism from within

Next to China. Put yourself up for sale to the highest bidders. Appoint their people. Write your own laws. Make truck loads of money. Heard it before?

Change is the only constant in politics.

Photo Gage Skidmore

Doomsday prophet stunned the world has not gone under yet

Judgement days. -I`m puzzled by the fact it hasn`t happened atleast 50 times, atleast!!! Taken the circumstances, I`m quite impressed by earths survival skills. But I`m convinced our planet will run out of luck and I hope I live long enough to tell the story before it`s too late. I mean, who will lissen to this when it`s gone?

 Photo SteveR-

When faced a dangerous fire I ask myself "What would Rambo do?"

Adrenaline party. -What I hate about this job is that I can`t take off my clothes and flex those abs while I put out the fire, says Unpresidented Joe. None of the other guys talk about it. They all do it, but are afraid to be revealed. I pie on every fire I put out. It`s a sexual thing. I have to mark my territory. This belongs to me now. Screw the insurance company. I`m the man here!

 Photo Loco Steve

London tourists mistook House of Commons for Paralympics

Parapolitics. -They behaved like monkeys, what where we suppose to think? says the two globetrotters from a little bit here and there.

-We gave them our bananas out of sorrow, not ??? These people can`t chew, or least use a fork and knife. They have to eat. Judging by their behavior they are obviously not feed often enough.

-Somebody had to throw food at them. Bananas was the only thing we had. If we had had cake we would have thrown that?!

Photo Liberal Democrats

The Olympic 100m finales will be held at the Mexican border

Audience takes it all. If you win you get a gold visa with work permit. Second you get the chance to run again and if you come 3rd or below you get shot at the finish line.

-Off course there will be drug testing. Whoever tests positiv will be shot on site. Also, if you don`t have you Olympic papers in order you will be killed instantly, says one guard off guard.

Photo Highway Patrol Images