Baby Hitler Was Obsessed With Having His Picture Taken

This is my evil side!

He was a cute little ambitious motherfu#@*ker. He served in World War one and started the second. Considering the starting point, he really rose to the occasion.  Everybody deserves a second chance, but not a second war!

One baby really can make a change. Thank God he didn't live to start a third one. Even though baby Hitlers shoes aren't large to fill, many has tried, but failed. 

The reason they go wrong is their feet are too big. The whole concept with Hitler is he got it all wrong, as in ALL!!!!!!! To start a World War you need things to go wrong in biblical proportions. Shoes that are too big is the only way to get every step wrong. Your whole life.

Few have been close, he really did it his way...

Photo Public Domain

Plans To Establish Al-Qaeda On Mars Is Underway

Feels like home

-Excatly how we're going to do it is still up in space, but we are working on it. Our tech guy just draw a plan with a stick that was very impressive, say head of Al-Qaeda's Heaven division. 

-We need to learn more about Mars, but from the pictures we have seen it looks well suited for us. If we're lucky we might even find unintelligent life there, like here on earth.

-Allah created the universe, so we see it as our duty to make sure it stays that way, that no infidel come back and tells us othervise, but how on mars are we going to pull that off? We have enough trouble as it is staying alive on this planet.

Illustration WikiImages

Ordinary Joe Convinced He Had Special Driving Skills

-I've been to Canada, it got to count for something, right?!


-Give me a break here, how hard can it be? says Joe who has no sympathy for the local rescue service. -They're idiots!  The spokesperson for the  service say they know the driver is and that it's not the first time he gets into spectacular shit. -We have blown our budget many times on that fuckhead.

Gerry, who's head of the regional rescue services, informs us of a public statement issued two weeks ago where they all agreed to let Joe die, whatever the hell he gets up to next time. -It's better for the environment. 

-We have to think about climate change and this is a great initiative to save the planet. If there is one guy who could acctually damage earth, it's Joe. So, we're all very pleased to see him go.

Dumped On First Class

 Valentine's Day didn't quite turn out as planned

The trip to Paris on daddy's private jet went hellwire when his fiance discovered he had slept with her best friend.

-I tried to explain what happened to the doctor, but he wouldn't have it. Olson, who miraculously  survived the fall, was however beleived by the people at Guniness Records and is currently the proprietary of the most spectacular brake up in history.

-I though a plane would be a safe space to unveil my darkest secret, boy was I wrong. I keep telling my insurance company it got nothing to do with drugs, it's all about sex, as if that is any better..


Photo Pexels

Aung San Suu Kyi's Favorite Movie is Home Alone

and Rambo.. according to annonymous sources.

The film is rumored to play on repeat on Myanmar Army TV, a douchebag station showing just shit and Home Alone. 

The Myanmar Army has a lot of weapon, so the people of Myanmar has to put up with army tv for as long as they got bullets to fire. 

The price for streaming some good shows is slightly higher than in the West... slightly. If you meassure in weight, the weight of the metal that goes into making coins and bullets. It's not worth it for most Myanmarans. 


Russia Jails Anti Corruption Fighter Alexei Navalny.. WHAT?!

As in WOW, we didn't see that coming... yeah right!

Russians notorious antiput, Alexei Navalny, the king of pop media, got thrown in jail for undressing the rich @#₽$€£ in Kremlin.

Nobody like having their private property parts ridiculed in public, even if they deserve it. And boy do they. Few people deserve it more.

Holding 145 million people hostage to live your Tsar dream with your mates is pretty fucked up. Its a dangerous game, especially when the 145 million says thats it.


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