Black is the New Black

New deal. Wtf, a black Bond?! Yes, get used to it. Rumour has it, their #$&% doing it.

-When Idris Elba puts on the tuxedo he will end racism. He's gonna be so %$&# cool white people will smear shoe polish in their face to imitate him, says Bond producer Bubba Asparagus

-But realistically, where do you find a white guy with balls these days?! Daniel Craig didn't only portray a dying breed, he was the last one.

So, besides bringing a huge dick to the screen, how different will a black 007 be? -Obviously, there will be extended love scenes, but we haven't figured out how to keep the movie under 4 hours. I mean, he's really hung.

Illustration Peggy and Marco Lachmann-Anke

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