Obama & Putin Fight Like An Old Gay Couple

Gaysir. -How do they get out of this shit? They pull out. Let's face it. Married men fight harder than mixed relationships. In the end, their still men, says G20 insider.

-It's like comparing women's to men's boxing. It's more brutal. Living next to a gay couple is the number one reason for moving in countries where same sex married is legal.

-The anti gay propaganda laws in Russia is an initiative to reduce noise. In Moscow they are known to make more tumult than traffic. If every gay citizen in Russia stirred up as much turmoil as Putin and Obama, it would make Syria look peaceful.

Photo Imaginary Museum Projects: News Tableaus

NSA On Syria: No Need For Surveillance Cause We Discuss Fucking Everything In Public Now

Talk your walk. After hearing the debate on whether USA should bomb the shit out of Assad or not, NSA Chief of Secrecy Bill Thunder can't believe his fucking ears.

-This is the kind of shit we listen in on. Now their doing it in public. Who the fuck are these people?

-They haven't even meet in the UN Safety Council and their already rambling on the news. It's not a story yet.

-It's not an election either. They don't have to convince anybody. All they have to do is come together, shut up and make on statement. One! What do they think this is? A reality show?

Photo Kerem Tapani

-I'm The Same Prisoner I was 20 Years Ago

Addicted to jailing.

Crime after prison. - Disturbing, says guard. It was the same 20 years ago too. He's a child. He still looks forward to get out and do the same shit again. When time runs up there's nothing I can do.

-Unless I... you know... capitate his head and feed it to the sharks. It's different from what he'd expect, but he's still coming out... in pieces.

-I could let him out from an airplane. There's no rule prisoners should have parachutes. I could kill him and claim he walked on the bullet. Classic suicide. Look at me. I'm the same sadistic guard I was 20 years ago.

-Disturbing, says the prisoner.

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Military Intermission In The Middle East

Refight button. Until the superpowers decide how to deal with Syria's chemical attack, the unbalance who caused it continues to do so.

Basic chemistry...

Photo CommonsWikimedia/CIA

Cab Drivers Fear Self-Driving Cars

Auto-taxi. -What are we going to do, sit there? Pretend we're driving? says Øqæåz.

-There must be some shitty opportunities left. I think we should put cab driver on the World Heritage List.

Photo jimw

English Ali Knows How to Make Peace In Syria

Snackfact. -I have the answer to all their problems. Weird they haven't contacted me. I must interfer.

-I have a lot of answers, even to questions nobody ask. Like how to make grilled chicken in the Middle East.

-I can also boil potatoes in foot sweat. Have I shown you how to make disturbing noodles? Allow me. It will freak you out.

-After that I show you how to make buttsnake.

Photo Dick Howe Jr

Cinema Parking More Expensive Than Drive-Inn Theatres

Autoshow. More and more cinema drivers head up for the mountain and watch movies there for free, compare to cineplexes.

-I've already downloaded most of whats playing anyway. It's just nice to get out of the house, but why leave the car?

-The entertainment systems in automobiles are so awesome these days, it's silly to park in a cinema and walk out to a less comfy screen.

-In the car we can make out, skip forward, switch film, play music, surf the web, play games...  who got time to watch a movie? I want to stay connected, not connect, says city Kim.

Photo alexliivet