Ozone Layer Repair Itself, Activists Must Repay Fundraising

A much feared hole in the ozone layer above Antarctica is repairing itself without human help according to a report by New Scientists.

The scientists suggest that the 1987 ban of harmfull gasses is finally working, but Dr T, a DJ in Toulouse, France woun't have it. -I want my fucking money back.

-I gave a lot of money to the green movement in the 90s. And for no good, all my pocket money might aswell gone up in smoke. Thank goodness I inhaled, but I still want my money back!

-Making us believe we all had to do something when in truth we didn't?! What kind a society is that? Scaring young people for no reason, then leading us into the life choices that hurts the earth and on top of that blaming us for it??!!

-I want my money back.


Image Jeyaratnam Caniceus

World Sues China - See Ya In Court!

It's the biggest and the most anticipated event since the moon landing, everyone is expected to watch. The security will be insane.

To keep the responsible virus outbreak deniers safe during the trial it has been moved to the moon. -It's the only place where we can keep them out of reach from humanity, aproximately everyone on earth wants them dead, says the prosecuter representing homo sapiens.

-We doubt that the accused will ever return to earth, it will never be safe for them, unless their sentenced to death, but then we might just aswell leave them in space.


Photo Arek Socha

China Opens Wet Markets - Learned Nothing From Global Disaster

The from here on, Chinese Virus, a direct result of cultural habits, who turned the world upside down into a global catastrophe, didn't stop the Chinese Wet Market dealers, who caused the misery, to change their habits.

China, not the brightest of countries... more like massively stupid, like a kid living alone without supervision, a retarded kid, with no brain, it has to go wrong, very wrong!


Photo StockSnap 

No More Batman Movies

Hollywood has decided to stay off the bat franchise until people has forgotten about the batsoup connection. -Maybe we'll make another Batman movie next century, maybe..., says Harvey Pigstein.

-It depends how many die from the coronavirus and how long the after effects from stays with us, I have a feeling it might be longer than WW2.

The Hollywood moguls agree that it is in bad taste to continue calling it the coronavirus. They fully support the name change to covid-19, but wish the focus was more to eliminate the bat connection.

-We don't give a shit about Mexican beer.


Illustration Syaibatul Hamdi

Astronaut Stays In Space Until The Pandemic Is Over

-If COVID-19 wipes out the entire humans race, then the mission is to go down and repopulate earth again, says the astronaut jokingly.

-But it's also true, we are the last resort if it all goes to hell. For the time being we are temporary Noah's Ark in space.

-I always though living in space was riskier than earth, I was so wrong.


Photo WikiImages

Tourism Down 2 Million Percent

-We have cancelation with airplanes that aren't built yet, says travel manager Becky Escape in Enjoy Wuhan's London office.

-People say they'll rather go to space than set their foot in Wuhan, we fear tourism will never pick up. Actually I hope it never does, if it do I have to find another job, cause I'm not going to Wuhan again.

-They can take their bat soup and shove it up their *@$#. I'm out. I'm not even going to China, f*@$ that!


Photo WikimediaImages