Bill Murray Wants Nothing For Stopping The Storm In New York

Bullseye. -I got Ghostbusters 3 made without me. That will do, says the moviestar.

-But if you absolutely want to give me something my account number is 555 438 2619 bullshit.

Questioned why he`s so absent in the media Bill says he`s been in Falluja fighting terrorists and training the local police force.

-I`m a moviestar, they do whatever I tell them. I got tired of the press, so I told them no press and the media stopped writing about Iraq.

-They need some magic to get this working, I get them to do missions even the special forces stay away from. I`m like Colonel Walter E. Kurtz in Apocalypse Now. I`m bad for everybody.

Photo Jules Minus

While Oklahomans Prepare For The Open Carry Gun Law, Nudists Lobby For Open Carry Dick Law

Open body. -If they can flash their gun, I can too, says party nudist Karl Grove.

-They claim to wear weapons in the name of peace... Hah! No gun owner ever came in peace. When they come, they come with a bang.

-Claim wearing firearms prevents use of bullets is like saying condoms prevent sex. It`s for more!!!!

Photo oscar alexander

New York Remember It`s Last Days In Paradise

Wetlook. The city that never drowns is recovering at the Metropolitan hospital from massive water inhalation. As the rescue workers pumps her for water, her whole life flashes infront of her.

-Mmm mm argh! A AAA AAAAAAAAAA!

Few inhabitants know this, but the New York gets off nearly drowning. It`s a sexual fantasy. I think most people would move if they knew.

Photo Dougtone

15 Phedofiles Gunned Down Night Before Halloween

-Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Hallogod. News report of a pragmatic serial killer has fled areas where children set out to play trick or treat. Anonymous sources says parents of these area wants to make sure nobody played trick or rape.

-They will not be missed, says parent. In fact, we have already forgotten them. Isn`t it weird how time flies. What did I forget to buy in the store... milk. I have to go back. This interview is over.

Photo hanna_horwarth

Frank Prepares for His Business Trip To New York

Poor dog. -I love NY. I love it more than my family. I would love to go there any other time, included x-mas eve. But not now. I don`t love it more than myself, says Frank to himself the day before he gets on the plane.

-Please, let the hotel or the business partner be part of the destroyed area. God, I beg you. I know I have never prayed to you before. I`m shy, lets put it like that. Okay, I was loaded and I didn`t need you. But what money can buy me out of this?

-If I don`t go I loose face and if I go I might loose my life... Wait, why would I loose my life now? The storm is over. I`m just making up this shit cause I watched the news and want to be part of it.

-If I fake my travel date I can. Two days more or less, who cares. The data is all gone anyway. Who could disprove me? My family? No, I wasn`t with them. I was with two hookers while they thought I was in New York at... my business trip. Jippi!!!!!

Photo twfrench

Sandra Dislikes Having A Natural Disaster Named After Herself

Deconstructing Sandra. -I know I have mood swings. I know I have a temper. I know I am a woman who like every other woman have my period every anger day. But I`m not such a bitch that I ruin whole cities.

-Sure, I can be difficult to be around at times, but only within hundred yard. The people outside that circle doesn`t notice a thing. I only let out steam in my inner circle and I use a calendar to remember my pill, not atmospheric sensing equipment, duh... then again, I like the attention...

Photo Showbits

Bill Murray Went Into The New York Hurricane To Shoot Ghostbusters 3

Film Season. -We got to do this while the weather is perfect, points Bill out.

-Some movies are made for romance, some for drama and some for action. This is reality. We`re trying to tame the beast in real life. I we fail, all of New York will go under. It`s really up to me now,... finally.

 Photo Jules Minus