Chinese President Listens to Rap

Gangsta rap is Xi Jinping favorite music and it shows. It has affected how he conducts his foreign policy in a big way since he discovered it. He was introduced to it by one of Trumps bodyguards.

The bodyguard thought he was going to die when he turned up the volume to badass gangsta rap and realized Xi Jinping was in the car, but he was intrigued by the gritt of it and asked what it was and told him to turn it up.

Since then Xi Jinping is always riding with his sunnies inside the limo and playing the music as loud as the speakers allow. The limo is soundproof, off course, and they turn it off before he steps out to perform his presidential duties, than aside, he's totally down with it.


Photo The Guardian

Average Kim Avoids Made In China

-Yeah, take that you bullies! I buy made in Taiwan from now on. And guess what, the Taiwan gadgets are exactly the same. I've had them for a couple of months now and I can't tell the difference!

-Imagine if every citizen on earth did the same? Taiwan would be a Superpower!


Photo English

WW2 Veterans Prefer Germany Over Russia

-Germany created the greatest society the world has ever seen. I love it. Russia can go to bed. I wouldn't set my foot there today. Not the way they have gone, but thats another story, says the WW2 veteran who speaks for all of them.

-Russia still brag about winning the war, like they did it on their own, but they where never that important. Sure, they had big losses, but that didn't help us win did it. Neither is it a valid argument to diminish the Allies abilities to fight. Our soldiers stayed longer in battle. That made us more dangerous, not less. You mesure success in gains, not losses.

-The Allies stopped the war with the atom bomb in 1945 and saved Sovjetunion and the world hundreds of millons of lives. It would have gone on for years if we had left it to Sovjet to defeat Hitler, but they could never admit that and thank us for doing the dirty work.

-Russia is stuck in time and tries to hang on the bandwagon with their desperate take on history. You got to move on. Look at Germany, the Nazis lost the war, but God did the Germans win the world.


Photo Baptiste Heschung

Hong Kong: 20 Years in Prison for Farting!

The new Chinese security law prohibits any form of anti communist behavior and hundreds of Hong kongers has been sent to the mainland for farting bigtime after eating Chinese pudding.

-The food was infected, I didn't intend to fart in the presence of Chinese officials, I tried to hold it in as long as I could. It's impossible. The food is so terrible. It's hard enough eating it and smiling at the same time, especially when you know your going to get real sick, says Anonymous Han.

Anonymous Han expects to die from the Chinese prison food long before 20 years has passed. -It's a death sentence. Nobody ever comes back from the mainland...


Photo Philipp