Nuclear War Is Our Only Hope

Sheep Day. -I don't see how we can live in harmony with mankind. They have to die, says leader of the pack Sheep J D.

-Preferably they kill themselves, putting together an army of sheep to kill human kind will be challenging...

Photo Hans Braxmeier

Kim Jong Un: -The Only Way I Can Up My Game Now Is To Go Completely Bananas and Blow %&#@ Up

Surprise. -I can't go on do these test bombings forever. I got to hit something soon. Something big. Something that goes KABOOOOOOOOOOM and scares the hell out of people, says Kim in an 8 hour long portrait interview.

The entire interview, who went over 16 weeks, will be broadcasted on North Korean tv in its entirety this summer, which means no news or other programs until the autumn.

 -Can't really say anyone cares, it's only crap on tv anyway, says regime hater Tang Jong Johnson.  -The only difference is that we get the crap from the dictators mouth himself.

Photo diapositiv.fotografie

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Tough question. Could it be Handsome Luke, Lucky Luke or Kim Jong-un? -Very difficult question, says North Korean spokeshuman, Kim Kim Kim.

-It could be Donald Duck. I'm not up to speed with American names, you all look alike to us, except the negros, but it's definitely an American.

-Everything wrong with this world is Americas fault, so it has to be the work of an American... North Korean logic.

Photo the internet

NASA Discovers 7 New Planets Similar to Ours, Woman: I Don't Need This

Doomsday. -Let's hope there's not men there. I have enough with my husband. I can't deal with 7 more planets full of men, says Alyona Popova.

-And I'm not just speaking on behalf of womankind, this is bad for the entire Universe.

The thought that there might be more men in space disgusts her. -It makes me sick to my stomach. I want to file a divorce and hide in a nuclear bunker.

Photo Quinn Kampschroer

UFC Fighter Conor McGregor is Trumps New Press Secretary

Game on. UFC Fighter Conor McGregor looks forward to taking on the press, according to anonymous sources in the CIA. It's a nonstop fight, 24/7, no downtime, just a big bowl of blood.

-I hope he lasts the whole term, but a few days is more realistic. The White House is signing a deal with the Ultimate Fighting Championchips to get an unlimited access to fighters. We need it, says a White House spokeswoman Bring Itonson.

Photo UFC

Foreign Leaders Insists On Meeting Obama Before The "President"

Dumped. -In fact, they'll rather only meet Obama. First thing they ask for at the airport is where he live and how to get there. Then they come up with some lame excuse that they don't have time for both and have to leave urgent. There's more traffic to Obamas new place than the White House, says Washington insider Al Brown.

-A delegation from Mexico pulled over at the White House on their way to the airport after visiting Obama and pissed on the wall, it's the fifth time it has happened this week and it's only Monday.

Photo IrieJamRadio

Obama Joins the Olympic Kitesurfing Team

WET TEAM 6 Obama will represent USA in the upcoming Summer Olympics. -This is my dream, not the American, but mine. It's about me now. So, yes I CAN.

Photo The Web

Russian Media Only Hire Journalists With Severe Head Injuries

Proud-a! The amount of fake news produced in Russia with the aim of damaging the West has increased in the last couple of years, in what Western Intelligence analytics view as soft warfare.

In turns out that is not the case.

Recent observations by ordinary people suggest that these horrendous news aren't made with bad intention, it's just that the people who make them don't know any better.

-Their all retards. Look at them. Russia Today is a camp for mental illness. How can you have any expectations? We should champion them for spelling the names of our countries right.

Photo quiitheislander

90% Of The Russian Population Is Gay

Payback news. The Russian President is in shock after the nationwide study by the health and safety board was made public this Monday. As a consequence Kremlin is opening up for gay marriages and equal rights for the LGBT community.

On why the sudden change, president Putin reply -There's too many gays... God, 9 out of 10 men I shock hands with where gay. How did I not notice?!

Photo WikiImages