Horrendous news source. Terrible at best. World Mess Association (WMA) is an attention-seeking news agency made up of mad journalists. WMA makes profit by continuously firing staff. Making sure the onces left are exhausted, underpaid and working from home. WMA does not cover health insurance or stories involving the shareholders. WMA has won the Bullytzer Prize for covering up mass crime and continues to harm selected countries, companies and people in coordinated cyber attacks.
Independent contractor. According to the Japanese authorities, she disappeared with her make up on. Usually they take that off at the end of the shift, but she didn`t. She was still in character.
First the police got reports of a Geisha who entertained the customers at the subway, then a Quickie Mart, then a home for homeless people. Instead of checking it out, the police decided to wait and see where this is going.
At four in the morning they received a call from an elderly lady who complained about a Geisha singing old folk songs outside her bedroom window and claiming she knew her husband better then her - at least sexually.
Quarter past four she walked into a nightclub and took over as host. The audience thought it was part of the arrangement so the MC left it at that since none of the activities there could stand the light of day.
-These things often solve themselves, says emergency call operator Han Jong. -After a few hours they get tired. Basically what they want is attention, there is not a single man in Kyoto who will ignore a Geisha. With 700.000 males in this city, that problem will solve itself. Some lucky guy will get the ride of his life. A mental Geisha, thats like celebrating X-mas, New Years Eve and your birthday simultaneously.
Rumors had it she walked away with 5 million Yen from that nightclub.
-When I buy a new purse, I always ask the store manager how many he needs to sell to stay open.
Marriage Express. -I don`t spend my own money at all. Thats the deal. It`s an even relationship. He has to compensate, otherwise it`s not fair.
-I look at shopping as economic aid. Somebody gotta make the wheels go round. So really I`m helping people. Kind of a rescue worker. A woman who shops for the people, yes for mankind. Without us the whole world would go under like Greece. Yeah! I`m saving the world and proud so doing it. Not the slightest ashamed, says Goldie.
Between two statesmen. -You gun him down. Nobody is going to believe he raped two Swedish women. Use a Kalashnikov. It`s cheap, easy and people will think it`s us. Thats what he said. I swear, says Chief of Staff Jack Lew to Obama.
-Then he went on about dealing with the opposition... I don`t think you want to hear that. Let`s just say its not translatable to democratic terms. But you might be interested in his ideas on how to, how do I put it, win the 2nd election, if you know what I mean. He had some awesome suggestions.
Rub the technology. -I use maybe 4,6,8 hours a day with my gaze locked into the touchscreen. It doesn`t matter where I live anymore. It`s all about online presence. Who cares where you write this stuff. As long as you fake the photos, you ok in my book. I`m not gonna hang out with some douchebag.
-You got to follow the times and live in the screen. Forget all the "live in the moment" bullshit. That`s yesterdays technology.
-Think about all the benefits from living in the technology. You have a facelift without going to a plastic surgeon. Digital surgery is so much cheaper!
-Imagine the babes you get. All you have to do is close your eyes when you meet them in real life. If you work out a mutual agreement that you`ll both keep your eyes closed until death do you apart. you don`t have to give a fuck. Eat everything you want. If one of you dies, get another one. Who`ll notice?
Judgement days. -I`m puzzled by the fact it hasn`t happened atleast 50 times, atleast!!! Taken the circumstances, I`m quite impressed by earths survival skills. But I`m convinced our planet will run out of luck and I hope I live long enough to tell the story before it`s too late. I mean, who will lissen to this when it`s gone?
Adrenaline party. -What I hate about this job is that I can`t take off my clothes and flex those abs while I put out the fire, says Unpresidented Joe. None of the other guys talk about it. They all do it, but are afraid to be revealed. I pie on every fire I put out. It`s a sexual thing. I have to mark my territory. This belongs to me now. Screw the insurance company. I`m the man here!