Thought Relaxer

The new thought relaxer pill Forgett It from Medicash is being launched on the brain market and is expected to very well among religious circles, drug addicts, stressed workers and wanna believers.

LA Bum

Are you dreaming of becoming one of Los Angeles 90 000 homeless? Do you wanna smell like shit and walk arround with all of your belongings in a shopping trolley while others drive by and spit on ya. Then join the U.S. Army cause we need your help in Iraq. Call 1-800 Waste-Your-Life or check out more at

Nissan Sutra

The little tight car from Japan have totally different driving functions than normal cars. With it`s 5 seats it got room for more than 800 positions. It comes with auto driver, the so called LD gear, Love Gear where an automatic driver takes over. It`s not about the milage or how fast you can go, but quality. A little trip can take up to five sixs hours. It`S a totally different driving experience.

Tragic Hours

To keep customers in line after the financial meltdown, pubs introduce tragic hours. With half price for suicidals and free drinks after your dead pubs around the world hope people will continue too waste the money they really never had in the first place.

Nuclear`s Eve

Iran is building power plant in their preparation to celebrate Nuclear`s Eve. Both North Korea and Pakistan are eager to the atomic party and can`t wait to send up the nuclear firework. The United Nations is doing all it can to cancel the party. So far, none of the Religious Nations has understood that they will be deleted from the world party map if they do as much as send out an invitations.

-I Want The Peace Prize Too

The Canadian primeminister Unn Knownson announced he wants the Nobels Peace prize too. He says he makes the same kind of plans to save the world every time he goes to the hair dresser. The Italian priminister Silvio Berlusconi says he`s fine with Obama winning cause he already got one. When asked when he was awarded this prestigious honour he re-fraised his answear to he should have got one. But since the Nobel Institute is in Norway, there`s little he can do about it. Rumors has it a letter has been sent by a team of lawyers informing the Nobel committee that they will be sued for not awarding the Italian. However, he is said to be willing to drop the charges if Obama looses the war in Afganistan.

Slum Games

Rio de Janeiro is to hold the Olympic games in 2016. Pelé thanks God they got 7 years to clean up cause their really gonna need it. Wether or not their use bullets this time is undecided. It has earlier shown to be quite an effective cleaning detergent, but with the whole world looking their way, it might be wiser to build some schools instead.

Associated Mess

The essentional global mess network is the backbone of the world's disinformation system serving thousands of daily newspaper, radio, television and online customers with lies in all media and bullshit in all formats. It is the largest and oldest distraction organization in the world, serving as an reliable source of gossip, staged photos, manipulated graphics, audio and sex video.

AM's mission is to be the essential global american "news" network, providing distinctive infotainment services of the hottest quality, unreliability and unobjectivity with reports that are wrong, unbalanced and uninformed. AM operates as a money talks cooperative with more than 400,000 informers working worldwide. AM is owned by the U.S. Millitary Intelligence. They elect a board of director that directs the showcase.

Terrorist Harassment Program

Department of Homeland Insecuity is starting a Terrorist Harassment Program. The millitary courts was a win-win situation, but in the civil courts they might loose against the terrorist suspects, that`s why they open up for terror to make sure they win the war on terror.


Global Safety offer their customers terrorinsurance. If you where to blow up in a shopping centre, a trains station or simply when your watching the news in your own living room your close onces wount suffer any loss. On the condition its fundamentalistic fundamentalists behind. The insurance doesn`t cover christianfundamentalistic terrorism or sect or weird political terrorist attacks.

Full comprehensive terror insurance costs 25 thousand dollars a year. An additional 100.000 dollars pr day for recidents within the USA, Great Britan, Bali and Spain. 50.000 dollars extra for the rest of Europe and 5 million dollars a day for the middle east. sahara desert and the North Pole is not covered by the insurance, There you have to travel at your own bomb risk.

A 15% discount is offered if you stay inside your house for the rest of your life and watch television.